Love or Death

Part 1(Knowing that the love one is gone)

Chapter 1

            In this world I would follow my heart and my destiny. I will make sure no one stands  in my way. I'm just a girl who wants to make a change in life from the worse to something  better. When I was 12 years old my father always told me that I have to fight to make my way in to stand out from others. I didn't know what he meant by that. But when things got out of control with my mom dying from the car accident I lost control of my self.

         I just never felt so broken in my life. So now I have to bow my head and pray to the god above my shoulders. I just want to kill the devil who made this happen. In my world I don't believe in him because he's just a little red man under my feet wishing he was our god. My papa always told me never be afraid. He said to always stand up for what I believe in. People in this world today are much different than the world I use to be in.

         I knew that once my mother was gone I would have to take over her steps. My father did not understand because he is from a different planet. He just kept his self low because he loved my mother and he missed her very much. I wish that I can let him know that there are other people out there to love again. I just hate seeing my father break down in tears because I feel like im not doing my job helping him forget the momerise they had together. I'm going to make my father go out more because he needs to be stress free. He's not going to stay young much longer.

         My mother would want us to stay strong and be happy. She won't want us to sit here and cry for the rest of our lives. So I have to make my father get out this sad depressing house and have fun. I just never thought it will be hard to find something fun to do with my father. This is hard for me because my father never talks to me. He just focus on his job and not on me. We are not socialize with each other. Now we are separated more because my mother is gone.

        I didn't know what was going on in their minds because they were just staring at me. I feel like I'm not welcomed here. I just wished that my mother was still around because then I wouldn't look so dead all the time, and I would show more happiness. But how can I forget the horrible thing that happened to my mother. I dream about the accident all the time. I won't be able to sit back and remember all the goofy memories I had with my mother. My father decided that he loves and cherish her with all his heart, but it's time to move on and drop all the saddest that awakes upon us. He decided to go on more dates and go to the gym to exercise so he can stay in shape. 

       But myself I would have to try to focus more on school now, because I'm in the National Honors Society who wants to go to Yale University.  I want to be a lawyer who can debate good in the court room. I wished I had friends because it's junior year and ring dance is coming up. I wouldn't know who to sit with at the tables and who to be goofy with on the dance floor. Should I even go to ring dance no guy would ever ask me to it. 

         My mother would of been so girly because of the dresses she would wanted me to try on. Ring dance is 2 weeks from now and now I'll have to go dress shopping with my dad.