Living For You (GxG)

Why Her?

Nora and I met in our sophomore year of college. I didn't understand back then, but she was suffering greatly from an illness that none of us could comprehend. Sure there were signs and her way of life was unusual, but how could any of us know what went on behind closed doors?

How could we predict what would happen? 

Why didn't we meet sooner?

Why couldn't I take all her suffering away?...

Is there really a God?

She's not even 30 yet! Her life is just going to end due to a disease? Can't there be a miracle? I wanted to spend more time with her! She's the first person I actually wanted to get close to, and here I am sitting beside her hospital gurney as the nurses pump IV fluid into her body. She hiding behind that fake smile of hers, trying to comfort me and tell me that she'll be ok.

Her limbs were all motionless and extremely weak, but every now and then she would twitch them as to say that she hasn't given up yet. Her eyes darted all around the room with a sense of worry and then soon relief that she could still control at least one thing in her body. It won't be long before...

How can I even tell what she's thinking right now?

She cannot speak to me and definitely can't signal anything with her hands or feet.

Her long, flowing auburn hair shined in the sunlight which blinded me with her beauty. Her glossy sapphire eyes pierced my own, but instead of being upset or even infuriated, they were understanding and calm.

It was quiet.

Her parents had already visited and gave up quite quickly on her fight, and instead commented about having another child right in front of Nora. If only I could understand her pain, but she was still smiling. It is said that it takes more muscles to frown than smile, so that must be what's keeping her from crying her heart out. Nora is stronger than I am. If it were me, I would've ended it all way before transferring to another college. Though I say that, I'm genuinely glad that I met Nora.

I glanced back over to her as I continued to grip onto my seat. Her eyes were focused completely at the bright green leaves that began to sprout back onto the great oak trees outside the window. So much time has passed, and we aren't even close to winter, Nora's favorite season. She won't make it until then, the doctors confided in me. Nora's illness came too late, and too hard for her body to handle. There was no hope anymore.

"Ssspring!" She slurred at a slow rate. I smiled towards her and held onto her hand before nodding.

"That's right. You need to make sure that you take your medicine and work hard at your therapy so that you can go out for Christmas in winter. You have a while to go, but please try your best..." I replied, patting her head lovingly as she nodded slowly. If only that could actually come true, but supposedly she may only last two more days at the most... if she's lucky...

Nora let go of my hand suddenly and jerked it onto her chest before beginning to breath heavily and wince in pain.

"Aaadelle...!" She gasped, blinking rapidly as a way to ask for help. I pressed the nurse call button and waited for someone to come and help Nora, but within five minutes no one was there still.

"I'll be right back, Nora! Hang in there and make sure to control your breathing so that you don't have a panic attack, ok? I'm going to go get a nurse!" With that, I rushed out the door and down the long hallway before running into a nurse who followed me back to Nora's room. By the time we returned, she had fallen unconscious. The nurse pushed me out of the way without much thought and checked Nora's pulse.

"I have to go get the doctor. This isn't good..." She murmered, sprinting out of the room just as soon as she came in. Not long after she left, a doctor and three more nurses flooded in and asked me to leave. No one told me what was going on, but by their reaction it was evident that it was her Ventricular Tachychardia that she told me about previously.

My legs brought me to the few chairs in the hall outside. Everything was so surreal. I grabbed onto myself and trembled slightly, thinking about the event that just took place. I could only mumble a few words to myself in an attempt to convince "God" himself to let Nora remain here on Earth with me.

"Please, don't take her from me... She has so much more left to live for... At least let her stay until December! I want her final moments to be happier than this...!" I prayed to a God whom I don't even believe in. I was desperate. I owe Nora my life, so I want to do everything I can to expand her life at least a little. I cannot do anything but pray at this point. There is no cure for Friedrich's Ataxia as of yet. An hour passed before the staff can out of Nora's room,  and as soon as they saw me their eyes dropped and avoided my own.

"This is one of the worst cases of Friedrich's Ataxia that I have ever seen in my 40 years of this field." The doctor confessed to me. He continued on to only insinuate that she may not even live up to one month at this point.

Her heart condition has only worsened, she's confided to the bed and is unable to control her eye movements that well, and the strain that the diseases have on her body will only get worse which will accelerate the overall effects on her body. None of the treatment to lessen the pain has worked on Nora, so I assume the doctor and nurses are giving up on her because there is no hope.

"How is she... now? Is she in pain right now, or have you given her some medication to help her manage the pain?" He nodded in response and took off before I could ask him anymore questions about Nora. It was noticeable that the doctor himself was even upset over the ordeal, but still it would have been comforting if he stayed and explained the subject a little further.

Nora's door was now closed with a sign that prohibited anyone from entering the room.

It must have been serious if they placed that up.

At least now, Nora is resting while taking in medication to help combat her pain. I'm glad that Nora is alright, for now, but my mind can only wrap around the idea that she won't be with us for much longer. She's even beginning to lose her eyesight and have difficulty hearing already. I fear that this may be her last month, but I cannot be so pessimistic! If I can't have a positive view of things, then there's no reason for me to be by her side to encourage her to stay strong!

I remained in the seat, leaning over into my hands. I couldn't think of anything else besides Nora's future. My eyes began to burn, and before I realized it, tears began to roll down both my cheeks simultaneously.

"Nora..."