STARWARS EPISODE 45: ADAM DRIVER IS OLD AND TIRED OF doinG THIS
It's now been 6 years since you and Kylo got together, and you were starting to get tired of having to deal with him. Especially every laundry day. This was because you'd always have to use harsh cleaning supplies that practically melted your eyeballs JUST to get his tiddy milk out of his shirts. And you didn't even like to think about the shit in his pants.
One day you watch him as he holds your baby daughter, Bruce the third, in his arms, cradling her as she sucks the milk out of his nipple. You smile at her. She was an adopted 14 year old girl from Kenya. You smiled and reconcile your behavior as of late, wondering if all of the tiddy milk stains were really worth it.
Go figure right then Bruce the third decided to vomit up all of the milk she had just sucked from Kylo's tiddy all over his brand new shirt which lay in his lap. You groaned and Kylo laughed, picking up a napkin and wiping it off as if it would help.
The thing about Kylo's tiddy milk was that once it dried up it was NOT water soluble any longer, and even when it's wet it takes a long time to get out. Maybe he had a health problem? Who knows.
Your eyes flash with a realization- the problem here wasn't Kylo- it was Bruce the third. You had to fix this problem.
"Bruce wanna go to Disney World?"
Bruce nods and Kylo claps.
"Me too!"
"No you FAT."
Kylo looks down and pinches the skin on his pectorals, looking back up at you.
"I'm just thick." You nod in agreement.
"I want this to be a mother/daughter bonding experience, yeah?"
Bruce nods and Kylo shrugs.
Without any further conversation you race to the car with her and SPEED AWAY ARRIVING TO DISNEY WORLD IN LITERALLY 6 SECONDS.
You CRASH into the park and hop out, pulling Bruce with you. You then BEAT her head by picking up the entire car and SMASHIG HER WITH IT. She DIES INSTAntly.
"That's for ruining my MARRIAGE!"
You simply leave her corpse there and frolic into the the park alone, spending the rest of the day enjoying cotton candy and foods that will literally kill you before you even reach the ripe age of 18. Did I tell you you were like 12 in this universe? Yeah. Well now you know.
________ K Y L O __________________
You had absolutely no idea, but Kylo snuck into the trunk of your car when you drove to the park, too excited to turn down a trip to Disney world, even if he wasn't invited! He hit his head a few times and he forgot his last name, but he was fiiiine.
Kylo snuck out and hopped a fence, coming into the area. He found his way to Launch bay and waited in line to meet himself.
When he did, he was the first to throw punches at the short, skinny teenager dressed up as him.
"Stupid fucking cunt, that will teach you about identity theft," he grunted with ever relapse of the fist. The kid was crying on the ground, his body convulsing.
Instead of helping, the park security clapped and applauded. Kylo stripped the teenager of his silly cosplay and threw it on. The outfit was a little small but it would work. All of the people in line were ecstatic to meet THE Kylo Ren and not some greasy teenager and a fake voice.
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After Kylo was done, he walked out to your car and bundled himself up in your trunk, closing his eyes with a smile on his face.
Less than 10 minutes later, you came out to the car as well and got in, pulling out of your space and running over your ex-daughter's body.
When you got home, you and Kylo SMASHED.
As Kylo pounded your fart box, he grunted in your ear that he hated Bruce, sending you into a wil D ORGASM.
