A Girl's Heart

Pain of my mother

My name is Silver Park, 20 years of age. I don't know where to start... But, it's a nightmare to begin with.

I was only 5 years of age when the abuse happened by my parents. My mother, Ciana was the worst memory for me to have through all of these years. My father, Rino was another huge amount of pain, I had to go through in the past years.

My first horrific memory of my mother started off like this...

I looked myself in the mirror when I was only a small child. My mother had put pigtails in my hair that day, but I accidentally messed up one side of the pigtail. I went to the bathroom and cut it off some pieces of hair. I knew I messed up real bad. I didn't know how to hide it. It was so noticeable. I don't remember if it was the same day or the next day. But, my mother had tried to fix my hair and put it in a pigtail again, while she was brushing my hair, she noticed I cut some pieces of my hair off, she was filled with rage and anger. I was terrified... I didn't know what to do. She grabbed huge chunks of my hair and yanked on it with her full strength. Both of her big hands grabbed my hair and she was pulling on it, so rough and hard. I was in so much pain... What could I do to save myself from this abuse she does to me? I was only a toddler... I tried to run away from her grasp, but it only led me to be trapped inside my home. She hit my head many times, kicked me, threw me to the ground, stepped on my body so many times, banged my head against the wall so hard and continued to do that for so many hours... I didn't know how I survived through all of that abuse. What did I do that I deserved that? I made a mistake... I know I shouldn't have cut my hair... But, I was only a child. I remember I was screaming and crying nonstop... My eyes filled with the fear. It was like I was getting attacked by a monster. I thought I was going to die. I thought to myself is this the end for me? I didn't understand what I did that was so wrong that lead my mother to cause so much bruises and scars on me. Was it my fault? Was it her fault? My head was filled with so much questions, while my heart was struck. I didn't have anyone to go to for help... My dad being at work... But, I remember whenever my dad is at home and witnesses my mother abusing me, he only minds his business and never bothered to help me. I wondered how could he let me be tortured? How could he not care? How could he just sit calmly and watch a movie while I am getting beaten to death? Every single day, I think about that memory... It's never easy to get over. I was all alone. After, I have gotten beaten up, I just lay down in bed or stay in the same place, terrified and paranoid. I wanted my parents gone. I didn't want them near me. I wanted to run away, but where too? Would anyone even help me out? My head was going crazy with these thoughts.

First chapter was short, sorry!