Tomorrow • A Jungkook X Reader Fanfiction

#1

Eightythree, eightyfour, eightyfive steps...

Just some damn avocados. That's the only thing that tempted me to go outside today, even though today is a bad day.
I haven't had avocados in half an eternity, though I remember being almost addicted to them just a few years ago. I won't let something get between me and those goddamned avocados. Not even my anxiety.

I keep my hands clinged to the shopping basket I'm carrying to prevent them from trembling. The heartbeat in my ears feels too loud, too fast.
Counting steps is supposed to help getting anxiety under control, but it seems like it just makes it worse.

It's 1am and the 24-hour grocery store is empty except for me and the middle-aged cashier who looks like he is about to fall asleep, but still keeps on cleaning the counter. The flashy neon lights on the ceiling not only make my glasses seem dirty but also hurt my eyes, which I haven't closed to sleep in more than thirty hours.

Lucky for me there are two avocados left, smiling at me from the fruit shelves. As I grab them, they feel perfectly ripe: not too hard but also not too squishy. I almost smile, despite my loud and too fast beating heart.

The last thing I need is detergent. After several minutes of hunting down the shelves I realize they don't have any. I know this shouldn't freak me out, but it does. That's how anxiety works: I plan out everything, but something goes wrong and BOOM here it is.
My unverfilled shopping list is forgotten as I stumble through the gangway for drinks, in the direction of vegetables, while I'm trying to relax and breath deeply.

ninety, ninety one, ninety two....

The shelves start to spin, the colours are too bright.

Don't panic, please don't panic, everything is okay, don't-

...and I run into somebody. Seems like I wasn't the only person in the store like I thought. Anxious as I am I drop my bag and the basket like a hot potatoe and my purchases, including those lovely avocados, flood over the filthy white tile floor.

The guy I ran into opens his eyes widely in surprise; he has noticed me just as little as I have him.
He moves his mouth, but I can't hear what he says. The shelves don't just spin anymore, they are getting closer. My heartbeat pulsates so loudly I think my ears are going to burst.

Forget the avocados. I just run. Down the gangway. Out of the glass door of the shop into the chill night, the lights of Seoul blurred against the black sky as I rush, rush, rush in the direction I assume my apartment lies.

A few moments and red traffic lights later I get slower to catch my breath. A heavy gasp leaves my mouth.
Now that my mind is clearing again, the panic gets less, to leave a small spark in the back of my throat. Did this really just happen? In my memory everything feels like a blurry watercolor painting.
I must have scared this guy to death.

The houses around me don't seem familiar at all. God, please don't say I got lost. The panic in my throat rises again. I try to swallow it down.
My phone.... I can use Google Maps to find my way home. As I grab my bag I realize I don't have it with me anymore; I lost it in the grocery store, together with my precious avocados. And my phone. And my keys. Oh fuck. This can't be true. If I just hadn't craved avocados before.
I close my eyes and inhale deeply, while I tear my hair. Hopefully the guy I just ran into isn't in that shop anymore. Otherwise the humiliation will be even worse.
It doesn't matter, I try to tell me. Main thing is to get my bag back. And when I am onto it I can also buy these avocados.

Finding back to the grocery store again is easier than I thought it would be. From outside the man who caused my avocados to leave me seems to have disappeared. Thank god.
When I open the glass door I bursted out of just minutes ago, the cashier has already packed up my groceries again and hands them to me. He knows me after countless midnight visits and is probably the nicest person on this earth.
"여기요"*, is the only thing he says to me when he presses my bag and the groceries into my hand. What am I supposed to do? I should pay, right? And bow? And thank him?
"감사합니다",** I press out nervously and bow. But when I want to give him money he refuses. After several attempts I give up.

So I leave the shop, just to face another sleepless night at home, eating avocados and reading more than can be healthy.

*여기요 = (yoegiyo) Here
**감사합니다 = (gamsahabnida) Thank you