incredibly alive • lgbtq+

•1•

i have a mum and a dad. we live together in a decently large townhouse not that far away from my college.

i study media. all of the structured, business parts of media. it's quite uninspiring. it's easy, though.

most aspects of my life are considered to be easy.

my parents are rather wealthy. i have no siblings to complete with. i'm quite intelligent.

it feels like i go through most of my life numb; detached from most events i encounter.

it's july 24th, i'm sitting in my media class. i gave up my previous attempts to open my eyes fully and experience my surroundings, and so i sit here silently, nothing but static and muffled voices filling my ears.

my teacher of this particular lesson is terrible. he's possibly more detached than me; he never teaches us anything and barely talks to us. we often sit in silence and do absolutely nothing for an hour and a half.

i look around in hopes of finding something to concentrate on, to occupy my brain with something, anything. i look up at the lights and immediately squint, protecting my eyes from the harsh, bright light.

in the corner of my eye i see one of the girls in the class stand up from her seat. i allow my eyes to look at her for a second before looking down to my lap.

"i am fucking done with this bullshit." she pronounces her words fully and loudly, with an intense sense of confidence surrounding her.

she pushes the college laptop she was using to the ground and grabs her bag and coat. everyone, including the teacher, remains silent.

"you." she says. everyone looks up to find her pointing at me. "i know you're sick of this too. let's go."

in this moment, time stops. i feel my heart beating out of my chest. i try to think realistically; i can't actually go with her, i can't just walk out of my class.

then, i think outside of the constructs of manners and politeness i've been raised with, i think more realistically; i can. i can do quite literally anything, and walking out of a room with a stranger is one of the tamer things i could do.

time speeds up again and i begin to panic, realising i only have a few seconds left until she decides to leave without me.

"yeah." i surprise myself as the simple word leaves my mouth. she opens the door to the classroom and i gather my things.

i look at my laptop, then at the girl. she nods. i begin to feel dizzy and my vision becomes blurry, but i fight through it and shove the laptop off of the desk and to the floor.

i walk quickly over to her, and stand in the doorway. "you were always shit, jerry." she says loudly, looking to our teacher for a few seconds before turning around and slamming the door behind us.

"fuck yes! come on," she exclaims as she begins running towards the exit of the college. i follow, walking behind her.

"come on!" she repeats, stretching her hand out for me to hold. i take it and start running also.

my head is a grey, fuzzy mess but i can see the bright sun shining through the doors, and as we crash through them i immediately feel a warm, fresh blanket of heat shimmer over my skin.

the girl breathes out a sigh of relief as we stand for a few seconds, basking in the sun. after a moment, she starts walking.

i follow behind, "where are we going?" i ask as i struggle to pull my bag over my shoulder. "anywhere." she replies.