A Web of Lies

Chapter 2

“Chesterton! Language.” The female said.

            “I’m very sorry, my dear. But I would say the situation rather calls for it.” He said.

            “All the same. It’s so unbecoming of you.”

            “My apologies.” He said.

            Trevor stood speechless, starring blankly at the two spiders, his mouth agape.

            “Oh dear. I think you’ve scarred the poor boy.” The female said.           

            “Hm. Well perhaps that will make him go away and forget the whole ordeal.” Chesterton replied.

            Trevor’s eyes widened, and he clutched his mug tighter.

            “Indeed.” The spider continued. “Take your leave of us, sir, or I shall be forced to poke you in the eye, or……” He turned to the lady. “What is it that humans think we do to them?”

            “Bite them, dear.”

            “Bite them?! Why how absolutely barbaric!”           

            “I don’t choose their fears, darling. I just play along as everyone does.”

            “Very well. You must excuse yourself, Trevor, and forget this entire event ever happened, or I shall have no choice but to b…….to bi……….to bit- I’m sorry. I just can’t bring myself to say such a thing. It’s simply too vulgar.”

            “Well I guess it’s all for the best anyway.” She said. “We need him to fix the typo.” She said.

            “I suppose it’s for the best then. Given half an hour, I’m sure I could construct some engine that would allow us to depress the keys. But strong as I am, I cannot abide such a grievous grammatical error for that long.” Chesterton said. “Well step to it, boy. Remove that offensive apostrophe at once. Chop, chop.”

 

“Well? Why aren’t you moving yet?” The spider asked.

            “Uh…..” Trevor said, finally finding his voice. “I’m sorry. It’s just not in my nature to reach towards spiders………..also, speak to them. You can imagine how confused I must be right now.”

            “Right. Just so. Very well then, let us place ourselves in a more favorable position then. Say, off the laptop then? Yes, perhaps atop that dictionary over there. That should do smashingly.” The spider said. The two of them scuttled off and seated themselves on the large Webster’s Dictionary, beside several fragments of a fossil to be restored.

            “Good.” The spider said. “Now crack on then.” He pointed one of his limbs to the laptop. Trevor, still assured he was in a complete daze, set the cup of tea down before the book and made his correction. An audible sigh came from both arachnids beside him.

            “Boy, that certainly does make a world of a difference then, doesn’t it?” The spider asked.

            “I feel like I can breath again.” The female one said. “Don’t you think?”

            “No.” Trevor said, shaking his head. “I’m not quite there yet.”           

            “The boy looks like he could do with a spot of brandy.” The other spider said.