Winter's Progression

Anything but That.

The squip sat down on Jeremy's bed, leaning an elbow on the teen's hips. He wasn't as close as he was during the first test but enough to make Jeremy's tummy stir.
The squip's voice was low and calm, it dripped like honey and if Jeremy could move his knees would've been shaking.
"You won't feel a telltale switch this time. After the first emotion, we'll start off with happiness, you'll be able to move again. Try to restrain yourself though. When you feel, you'll feel violently. I'll walk you through the process, I'll be here the whole time." The squip went over the procedure calmly. It reassured Jeremy.

"We're going to be starting. Prepare yourself any way you see fit". After the words left the Squip's mouth Jeremy could move again. He flexed his fingers and curled his toes. He meant to bend his elbows too, to sit up and stretch a little but before he could his mood was suddenly glowing.

It was like when Christine agreed to go on a date with him but better. It was like he felt after he smoked two grams last summer in Michael's car. It was enough to make him sing, to dance.

"As you could tell, this is happiness. Hard to eradicate. Easy to find" Jeremy remembered the squip was there. The teen plastered the biggest smile he could on his face and sat up, grabbing the squip's hand. He pulled the computer up, holding the squip's rough hands in Jeremy's long thin ones. Jer swung the computer around, slamming him into a wall on accident. Though Jeremy continued unphased, he buzzed around his room looking at everything. Touching all his knick knacks and memories everything was exciting.

The squip sat up, putting a hand to his still spinning head. There was something comical about seeing his host act like a toddler. A small smile crossed the computer's lips and his eyes glowed softly. Though it was time to move on.

The yellow color in Jeremy's body melted out, being replaced with a dark blue. A weight settled on Jeremy's chest and he set the snow globe he had picked up back onto his dresser. He slunk back to his bed. He thought about Christine, how he blew her off. He thought about Michael and he he'd lied to his face, about he could lose Michael over this computer.

"This is sadness. Another easy one. Easy to find, easy to lose control of. Next one then. We'll skip contentment and excitement. Next is pain, Jeremy. Please prepare yourself" the squip warned.

Jeremy froze as the feeling melted away. He flexed his tummy, brought his arms up to his face and drew his legs to his chest, waiting for it.

It wasn't physical.

Jeremy felt heartbreak. Felt guilt and longing and grief. The pain of not being listened to. A tear slipped down Jeremy's cheek before the water works really started. He dug his fingernails into his wrists and snot ran down his face. Memories of his mother and father fighting resurfaced. One in particular was rather potent. It was six years ago, he was awake when he shouldn't have been. He heard his parents shouting in harsh whispers, yelling about their divorce, about how his mother hated his father and regretted everything. 

It was a wet feeling. It was the feeling he'd had when he'd called Michael a loser. It was the feeling he'd gotten when he'd looked Brooke in the eyes after the Halloween party. It was the feeling he'd gotten when his father came home at the end of the day with down cast eyes and shoulders hunched in defeat and all Jeremy felt was disappointment that his dad wasn't like other dads. It was shame and disappointment and heartbreak. 

The squip held this out for a minute and a half, watching his host roil in pain. As horrible a time as it was, it was a chance to learn about Jeremy, about what scared him most. About the one thing he was terrified of someone bringing up. The things that sat in the darkest part of his body were the things the squip paid attention to. 

Jeremy lay on his bed, fingers curled and eyes wide as tea plates. His mouth was slightly open and his chest was barely moving. Any more of this and he'd have flashbacks to this moment, it was time to end it. 

The teen sat up and with a hand on his chest as he panted, he ran to his trash can and vomited. The squip knelt down at Jeremy's side, a hand rubbing his back reassuringly as he cried into the bucket. When Jeremy had finished he whiped his mouth on his sleeve and laid his head in the squip's lap, weeping quietly. The pair stayed like that for fifteen minutes. 

Eventually Jeremy sat up, crawled to his bed and pulled the blanket up past his shoulders to his chin. Even before Jeremy said it the computer knew he was done for the night. He only had two more emotions to test anyway and they were going to be at least an inconvenience, and at most a spectacle. The squip sat on the edge of Jeremy's bed, placing a hand on his shoulder blade as he tried to forget the pain memories. The computer could've manipulated Jeremy's hurt, but felt it would be best if he was hands off, at least for now. Besides, the teen needed some time where his thoughts were his own. 

After time spent tossing and turning, Jeremy slipped into sleep in the early hours of the morning, but the squip didn't move. He wouldn't leave, he stayed with Jeremy the entire ten hours he slept. His hand never moving from Jeremy's upper back. 

A/N Sorry for the lack of update, and through this I had really bad writer's block so it kind of sounds chunky. It'll be awhile before the next update too, I have a college visit, then allstate, then speech regionals so I apologize in advance for that. If you're looking for more, go check out my one shot book! I just started it

Did you find my RENT reference? Its kind of hard. Let me know if you did