Why is it that everyday I feel like I am dying inside? Why do I bottle up all these feeling and use a blade to take them away? I wish I didn't do such a thing. I try not to but it just so difficult. I sometimes go months without using that blade, but I always go crawling back to it. I cry myself to sleep almost every night cause I finally realize I am hurting others. I try to remember that days I was happy, but they are faded it's like looking into a puddle as someone throws rocks into it. I try to let people in, but I've been hurt so many times that I keep the gate closed without knowing it. I feel like I locked myself into a tower that I cannot escape from. When will it stop? When will the time come where I can get up without worrying about my demons?When will I be able to look at myself and be proud? Will it even happen? What if I won't find out cause the blade hits a vein next time? What if I let someone push me to the edge then I take that step off? How can I let someone help me through this if I shield them from these nightmares I live? How could I ever keep moving on through the days if I am slowly dying? I'm not sure if anyone could possibly understand what I am going through, or how I see this world I am living in. I am trapped in the dark in my mind. I want to escape but it seems like I walk forever, and still never find an end. I am sorry, but I guess I'm just like the possessions in a museum, I will never come out of the glass cage.
