Learning to feel

Chapter one: Father dear, forgive me

Zara King, daughter of businessman and founder of multibillion dollar company King Enterprises, was dead- maybe not dead dead but truthfully she wished she were. I had been a long three months since 'the accident'. She hated calling it that; 'the accident' but it was so much easier than referring to that day as the accident than calling it the day Daniel died and she survived, if you could call what she was doing as surviving. She now living in constant remembrance of the traumatic events that occurred that fateful night. That's the thing about memories the ones you want to remember you cant the ones you don't want to remember you cant seem to forget, or at least that's how Zara felt.

She had tried to be normal, she went out with friends to the mall, the beach and parties but although the scars had faded leaving no physical reminders she felt as though they were still there hiding under her alabaster skin.

She wasn't much company these days, she wasn't mean nor did she act with utter and profound sadness for all she had lost she merely felt hallow and this lack of emotion caused her friends to eventually stop inviting her places as this emotionless was rather unnerving to others.

The shrink her parents forced her to talk to said that she still suffered from emotional scars that would take time to heal and that her lack of emotion was her minds way of protection herself until she was ready to face-really face what had happened that night. Personally Zara though than man was a bit loony for saying this, but to each their own.

But it was true to some part, Zara had yet to talk to anyone about what had happened and what she saw that night, it was too hard and Zara felt that if she did indeed talk about it she would break beyond a state of repair.

Although she may not feel much of anything anymore, at least she was functioning... or so she thought.

It was a Saturday morning at 10:30 AM and Zara had just come back from her morning run. She stood in the kitchen leaning on the cold marble counter drinking a glass of refreshing water and catching her breath.  The door swung open, the sound echoing in the countless empty corridors. Her mother walked in expensively dressed in a neatly pressed pencil skirt and white blouse. Her expression was full of annoyance stating that she really didn't want to be here. Zara's dad followed closely behind her mother in his dark blue business suit, not even attempting to mask the expression of utter boredom on his face. "Shower and get changed" her father commanded "a family meeting is in order". Zara straightened and did as told knowing all too well that disobeying her father would lead to less than pleasant consequences.

It was odd to say the least for all the King family members to be in the house at such an early hour on a Saturday. Zara's mother was a hot-shot lawyer who crated her own law firm, usually Saturdays were designated for meeting with her probono clients or judges; it was never a bad thing to have a judge on your good side, or so she had been told. Her father was a different story entirely. It was surprising he was in New York, let alone in their house.

It had to be something serious, Zara reasoned knowing that her parents would not want to talk about her doing her chores or not getting out as much as they'd like. For the first time in months Zara felt an pit in her stomach, a jittery feeling. she must be getting sick she reasoned, that must be it. Zara was always doing this reasoning and rationalizing things, things were always  easier if you knew the reason behind them.

When Zara walked into the lounge room were her parents sat, they had on their business faces. Their business faces were the extreme  serious expressions that her parents had on before important meetings. "Sit" her father commanded and Zara looked into her fathers peircing blue eyes and complied.  "you need help" her father stated, Zara rolled her eyes, most conversations with her father started with this statement.

After the accident her parents talked to her even less and went as far as to blame her for Danny's death. "We tried to get you help, we sent you to the top psychiatrist in the city, we gave you your space-" Zara scoffed, her parents had always giver her space, some would even go as far to say they completely ignored he. "But Zara Valentina King, you have to stop this behaviour, not only did you get that poor boy killed but your moping around is affecting me and your mother at work. Your irresponsible actions affect not only you." Zara rolled her eyes again, of course her Father would be worries not about her but about the ramifications at work. "Of course father, I would never want to make you look bad at your precis company" Zara retorted rather sarcastically. "Young lady! You will not speak to your father with suck blatant disrespect!" Her mother scolded a cross expression settling on her face. "Anything else father?" Zara demanded wanting nothing more than to get far,far away.

"yes, one thing. Pack a suitcase you start boarding school next week" her father stated in a strict no-nonsense kind of voice. And for the first time in moths Zara felt something that felt damn close to relief, this time she didn't try to rationalize it, she let it be and took a breath. As she felt the air course through her lungs she felt completely alive.