new beginnings | l.s

05 | 'was'

{Slight smut}
and when I say slight I mean barely any.

Everything went smoothly over the next few days, the boys hung out and enjoyed each other company. Harry and Louis spent more time together, sleeping at each others houses for two days straight too.

Louis skipped breakfast sometimes, but that was okay, Harry wasn't worried or anything. It's not like Louis was drastically losing weight, he used to do the same from time to time, sometimes breakfast just isn't as good as it's meant to be.

The only thing that ever worried him was when Louis didn't eat dinner either, he just figured he wasn't hungry though. He couldn't go pointing fingers or accusing him of purposely harming his own body, why would Louis do that? He wouldn't, that's the thing.

"Good mornin' Hazza." Louis mumbled and pecked at his boyfriends cheek, smiling gently. "I may have accidentally let you sleep in."

Harry groaned quietly and half opened his eyes, muttering. "What time is it?"

"Um.." Louis looked over at his phone to check the time, then looked back at him. "Half ten, ish. More like ten to eleven."

"Did I really sleep that long?" Harry whispered and laughed at himself, stretching out across the bed and groaning again. "When did you wake up?"

"Six.." Lou muttered this, fumbling with his fingers and then smiling sheepishly.

"Six?! Holy shit—." he almost choked on his words as he widened his eyes, raising an eyebrow. "What have you been doing since then?"

"Well, I ate some cereal, then I ironed a bit, then I got changed and I've just been on my phone." he replied and shrugged.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. "Since when did we- I mean, I have cereal in the house?" he heard his boyfriend giggle at him stumbling over his words.

"Since I bought some..at six in the morning." Louis whispered and whistled a little, rolling off the bed. Harry stared in disbelief.

"So, you woke up at six and supplied yourself with cereal, then you ironed, and then you got changed?" he rubbed his hands over his face and sat up. "Jesus, you never fail to surprise me."

"Oops?" Louis said with another giggle and hummed to himself, looking at himself in the mirror. He pulled his jeans up a bit and Harry watched him.

"You look fine, trust me." Harry said softly, pulling his sweats on and walking over. He slinked his arms around the smaller boys waist and sighed. "You look beautiful, even."

Louis simply shook his head and leant back against him, fidgeting with his own hands for a little while. "I wish."

Hours later.

Zayn had come round to see Harry while Louis was finishing off some coursework, both talking quietly.

"Well have you asked him? Obviously you've noticed it, it's caught your attention so maybe you should mention it to him." Zayn shrugged, he raised an eyebrow at Harry. They'd become quite close since the party incident.

"It's hard, me and him have something good going on I don't want to risk my relationship over something that probably isn't serious." H grumbled and sat himself down.

"But it's bothering you Harry, you have to mention it at some point. Or someone else will." he watched Harry's facial expression drop, he hated seeing him like this.

"I know but- it's hard." he said and groaned into his hands, mumbling. "I want to get drunk."

"There's a party tonight—." Zayn stopped himself and looked. "We can bring Louis, Liam doesn't really drink so Louis wouldn't have to."

"Sounds like a plan, Zayno."

The four boys went to the party that night, they were meeting Niall there so there were enough spaces in Liam's car for them all. 

Harry pressed a small kiss to Louis' cheek before going over to the drinks, taking a few shots. "I so wish Louis drank."

"We all do." muttered Niall, rolling his eyes playfully before looking over at Louis. "He might do you never know."

"Doubt it." Harry said with a soft laugh, he just shrugged it off and continued to drink the array of alcohol that was spread out over the table. He was now stumbling a little, stupidly, he stumbled over to Louis. "C'mon Lou, lets, let's go dance."

"Harry you're drunk I'm not g-." before he could even answer him, Harry had pressed his lips against his own. Their lips began to move in perfect sync as Louis' arms slipped round Harry's shoulders. "Okay, maybe one dance."

Harry grinned and pulled him over, shocked when Louis decided to take a few shots just to make dancing feel less embarrassing. They moved with each other in perfect sync again, Harry was holding Louis' hips as he moved them against the others.

The night continued just like that, every so often Louis would take a few shots to take away his anxiety and Harry would do the same just for fun.

Harry stumbled and brought Louis upstairs, pushing him down onto the available bed in an empty room. Before anything, he hovered over the smaller boy and pressed his lips to his, moving them slowly against his. Louis' lips were plump, and soft, a perfect contrast against Harry's.

He felt his hands slip into his curls, smirking as he mumbled against his lips. "Too many clothes Lou." he then removed Louis' top and trailed his lips down, first along his neck leaving dark purple marks, then along his chest and stomach. He left a trail of marks everywhere he went, before removing Louis' jeans and everything else.

Harry began to leave soft kisses on Louis' inner thighs, the smaller boy gasped a little and Harry spotted some lube on the side. He thought about it for a moment then nodded and picked it up, making sure it was all over his fingers. "Tell me if this hurts."

He mumbled that before circling his index finger, slowly but surely pushing it in as he heard Louis gasp again. He saw his smaller hands grip against the sheets slightly, sucking in through his teeth. "Doesn't hurt, just- just never done this before."

Harry smiles to himself. He was Louis' first, well he wouldn't be yet, he didn't want to go all the way yet, but he was his first right now. Although they were both slightly drunk.

He then nodded and slipped a second in, he let the boy adjust before moving his fingers in and out. He scissored them a little bit and then allowed him to adjust again. Harry traced small circles on Louis' stomach to reassure him while he started to pick up the pace he was moving his fingers at.

After a while, it became clear to Harry that Louis was close, so he added another carefully and kept up the pace he was moving them at. With a soft curl of the fingers, Louis came untouched and a shaky yet stable whimper left his now swollen, plump lips. "You good?" Harry whispered and the smaller boy nodded.

They both cleaned up, then Harry moved up the bed and pulled the cover over them. "Such a good boy for me." he mumbled and kissed the boys head, smiling.

Louis simply nodded and wrapped himself up against Harry, Harry looked down at the boys shoulders and back. His bones were so prominent, especially on his collar bones and shoulder blades. He looked like he could snap at any time..and now the alcohol was wearing off Harry could see everything clearly.

"I love you, Lou."

When he got no response he figured Louis was asleep, so he closed his eyes and drifted off himself. But, the truth was, he wasn't asleep. He was wide awake as he cuddled into Harry, whispering, "I love you."

He knew Harry had noticed, and they'd never said 'I love you' before. So why now? The only explanation would be that Harry was worried about him..and Louis knew that was the case.

Everything was perfect before, you see.

Was.