Alphas *TO BE RE-WRITTEN*

Chapter 11: Admitting

The door opened as I lay crumpled on my bed. Everyone had gone home already, and it was around midnight. I was pissed and hurt, and those emotions together made me continue to cry. I hated crying, with every ounce of my being.

"Ren?" Michael asked hesitantly.

I rolled over with my back to the door and raised my hand to flip him the bird.

I heard him sigh and then he stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him. "Ren, I know you're mad at me--" he began.

I rolled over off the bed and stood up, glaring at him. "Mad doesn't even begin to describe it, Michael!" I yelled.

He flinched. "I know, and I'm sorry," he began.

"You think saying sorry is going to make this all go away?! How could you even think that?!" I screamed. Suddenly my heart began to ache, more than ache. It began to sting, but not with physical pain. The hurt and anger and sorrow that I had been holding in ever since I was old enough to understand that my father wasn't right came flowing out in a raging river. A river that no dam could stop.

"I didn't think that saying sorry would make it all go away, Ren! I just wanted to give you something better than your father has ever given you!" he snapped.

I charged at him and he stepped out of the way. I threw the door open and ran downstairs, heading for the front door. I grabbed the handle and jerked the door open, but suddenly it was slammed shut again and Michael was standing in front of me. "What did you want to give me, Michael?! Huh?! What did you want to give me?!?!" I screamed, shoving him as hard as I could against the door.

"A family!!" he yelled back. "I wanted to give you a family!!"

"This isn't my family! This will never be my family because I was born a Winter and you were born a Dahlia! The Dahlias could never be my family!" I cried. Tears started pouring from my eyes and I felt my body begin to shake.

"They could be, Ren!"

"How, Michael?! HOW?! You want me to win this ceremony of yours? To kill other wolves?!"

"No, I don't want that," he said, trying to calm down. I could see the fire in his eyes, the pain of my words, the pain of my tears. I wiped them away.

I wasn't in control of myself anymore. I got up in his face and cried, "Then how?!"

He towered over me, grabbed me by the arms, and pushed me against the wall, hard. "Because I love you, Ren!" he yelled in my face.

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. I wasn't sure what to say at all. I was shocked, and all of my emotions were still all over the place.

And he took my silence as a chance. "I have always loved you, Renae! Ever since your parents first invited me over to dinner. I knew you were an alpha, just from looking at you. You were so full of energy, so full of the need to lead, to be in control. Your mother had a scared look in her eyes, and every time your father moved she flinched. From just that one dinner I knew he hit her, but you never flinched. You challenged him back by speaking on topics that only alpha males spoke on," he said, suddenly breathless. I was breathless too, and tears flowed from my eyes even more. My heart began to sting even more and I slumped against the wall. "That's what made me love you."

I gave up trying to stand and slid to the ground, sobbing. He knelt down in front of me and drew me into his arms, holding me tightly against him. I buried my face in his shoulder and continued sobbing. He loved me... he wanted to give me something I could have never had with my father: a family. And he gave that to me at the risk of my father killing him.

He pulled me into his lap and rested his head on top of mine, rocking back and forth a little and rubbing the small of my back gently.

At that very moment, as I sat in his lap sobbing in the middle of the floor, I knew that I loved him too. He was strong, funny, and just as much of an alpha as I was. He was like me, except with an undoubtedly better past than mine.

Soon my sobs died down and I just sat there against him, not wanting him to let me go. I wanted him to hold me forever, to protect me from my father. I hated being the one who was protected, but I was so tired of being the strong one.

He slid his arm under my legs and slowly stood up and I realized that I had started to fall asleep. He carried me upstairs and gently nudged my door open with his foot, slowly walking in and setting me down on the bed. He brushed a piece of hair out of my face and then gently kissed me on the forehead. He turned to leave, but I rolled over and grabbed his wrist. He turned back to me and I pulled him closer. "Stay with me," I mumbled, feeling really tired.

He smiled down at me and then kicked off his shoes. I scooted over enough to make room as he lay down beside me, wrapping his arms around me gently. I snuggled up against his chest and breathed in his scent slowly and listened to the steady beating of his heart until I finally fell asleep, confortable.

I did love Michael, but there were two things standing in the way: my father, and the ceremony.