Miraculous Ladybug One-Shots

Trouble in Paradise

Hey, loves. Takin' a shot at comedy because why not. Also, I'm definitely never funny on purpose wink wonk. This is for a contest hosted by a friend omgggg.

*WARNING* This is rated PG-13 because it mentions slight arousal and arousal jokes as well as a couple of swear words.

Tbh this is just a super cringey situation with bad jokes so bear with me.

Word Count: 1,058

Enjoy (tbh don't this is awful). ;(

* * *

If there's one thing Adrien's learned in his three years of living (because, let's face it, his life didn't start until he managed to escape his own personal hellho—house), it's that you always make your father knock before entering.

Oh, and never let yourself be alone with a beautiful girl in a small space for too long.

Must he even explain?

Ladybug pounds on the door with a clenched fist, grunting in her efforts and, unknowingly, arousing the life out of Chat in doing so. "Why won't this thing open?!"

Chat clears his throat, hoping to all things holy that she doesn't get close enough to catch wind of his slight... situation.

"I think it's locked," Chat whimpers unhelpfully, trying to take deep breaths and rid himself of whatever it is he's gotten himself into to begin with.

Ladybug's eye twitches irritably, her whole form glowing green in his night vision. "Really? Hadn't noticed," she mutters sarcastically, casting her gaze around the insanely tiny space. "Is there anything in here we can use to break this thing down?"

Chat presses himself against the wall as he sees her shift, staring up at the ceiling and chomping down on his lower-lip. "N-no idea. I've only got four pads left."

Chat watches, horrified, as Ladybug begins backing towards him to get a good look at the closet shelf. It really is too tight of a space for two.

"Wait!" he yelps, stopping her just before—oh God her ass.

WHO THE HELL LET HER WEAR SUCH TIGHT SPANDEX?!

It's nothing Chat hasn't seen before, but in such close quarters with his current situation? He is fucked.

"What?" Ladybug queries impatiently, turning and looking up at him. Her eyebrow under the mask lifts in question, and he swallows heavily.

"Nothing, you just—uh... You 'turned on' me fast—UM it's just 'hard-on' me to stay focused with you so close. I mean—!"

He did not just make two arousal puns in a row. No. NO.

Ladybug, not seeming to get it, shoots him a weird look. "Okay..."

Chat smiles, but it feels incredibly strained. "Please just hurry so I can jack—TAKE OFF! I have a kwami to feed, and I don't want you to waste too much time 'banging the door'—I MEAN!"

I hate myself.

Ladybug's eyes blow wide in concern. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Chat manages through clenched teeth, considering punching a hole through the wall and burying himself in it.

It's probably the most action I'll get in a hole until LB decides I'm hot. Just 'excited' to get out of here—oh kms.

"Just feeling slightly—uh... roused."

Oh my god, where is the off button.

Ladybug frowns weirdly at him. "Right..."

She suddenly turns away.

"Lucky Charm!

A small, spotted bobby pin lands in her waiting fingers, and her expression lights up. She reaches forward and picks the lock of the closet door.

The knob clicks and flies open. Chat immediately turns away from her, if only to protect what little pride he has left.

"Cum on, Chat! There's an akuma waiting!"

If only she hadn't said it like that.

Chat, cheeks aflame, races off in the opposite direction, hopefully too far out of sight. He finds the nearest public bathroom (thank everything holy, it's empty) and practically throws himself at the first stall he sees.

With an exhale and the click of the lock, Chat Noir is officially by himself.

Mistake?

"Plagg, claws in."

Plagg comes spinning out of Adrien's darkening ring, a sly smirk stretching his stupid little mouth.

"How's it goin'?"

"Oh, shut up, Plagg," Adrien snaps, flushing scarlet at his Kwami's snide remark and trying to ignore the very teenage boy side of him at the moment.

"Must have been 'hard' on you, huh?"

"Plagg!" Adrien hisses, further blushing (if that's possible).

The Kwami chuckles, amusement sparkling in his bright eyes. "I've been dealing with boys like you for the past four-thousand years. Let a Kwami have a little 'fun.'"

Adrien relinquishes an embarrassed groan, sliding down the wall of the stall with his head in his hands. "She didn't even notice!"

Plagg flits in front of him, resting on his knee with an amused smirk. "Or maybe she was too nice to say anything."

Another groan before Adrien peeks through his fingers. "Four-thousand years, you said?"

Plagg nods, crossing his nubs. "It's pretty normal for the Black Cat Holder and the Ladybug Holder to be physically attracted to one another. It's actually fairly normal. They don't necessarily end up in love, but there is always that chemistry that neither bring up if they're not already together."

Adrien drops his hands from his face, not being able to help his jaw from dropping. "D'you think Ladybug could be attracted to me?"

"What the hell did I just say, smart one?"

"Sorry, sorry! It's just...," Adrien trails off, feeling awestruck, "I didn't think she'd fall for me so soon. I thought I was going to have to fake my death and be dead for a little while to get her to realize that she's in love with me. Then, I'd follow her around in a black SUV and figure out her identity. Then, I'd start visiting her as Chat Noir at night, pretending to be a ghost or dream or something swanky like that. After that, I'd get her to wish me into existence or something cheesy like that and bam—instant love story."

Plagg stares at him for a straight minute before shaking his head, diving into Adrien's pocket, swallowing the camembert waiting for him, and nose-diving into his ring, muttering something along the lines of: "You need therapy."

* * *

The only reason you should be laughing right now is because this was so effing cringey to write. The arousal puns made me want to throw myself off of the nearest building.

Well. Let's pretend this never happened.

Please.

Xoxo, J.