The group of people surrounding me, concerned, there voices a blur as the ringing in my ears continues. My vision blurs until shapes aren't recognisable, just a really large smudge and a blur of colour.
My head whips violently around as my breath hitches in my chest, the small pit in my stomach now rapidly growing. It felt as if it was a black hole pulls all my organs together.
My heart feels like it's in a metal cage and with every best the cage gets tighter, my breath returns but shallow and rapid, the cage around my heart now feeling constricting. I dig my finger nails into my palms as I feel my knees wobbling.
My hands constantly shaking at a high paced rate, I feel my plams start to bleed and my fingers release from the death grip. I stumble backwards once and smash into a wall, the shock impact on my back causes my head to fling back, hitting the wall as well.
Mild pain shoots from the center of my back into all directions from my tailbone to my neck which holds up a now throbbing head, my temples scream and my knees finally give in. I slide down the wall as I realize how tight my chest is, each breath harder than the last. I close my eyes and try and focus on controlling my breathing. In and out. In and out. In and out. In and out.
But that was a year ago.
It's been a whole year since I had an panic attack in the middle of graduation. I sigh lightly and open my apartment door "I'm home" I yell, no reply "Hello? Lena?" I yell again, shutting the door behind me and turning the lock "I'm in the kitchen" I hear a reply and I let out a breath I didn't know I holding. 'Why am I always paranoid like this? She can take care of herself' I push the thought to the back of my mind as I make my way to the kitchen.
I see her and I'll a little taken aback. Her long blonde hair is gone and replaced with a short boy cut and her natural brown hair is back to how it was before she bleached it. "Hey" she says smiling as he throws something.
"Hey, I love the hair, it suits you" I says before looking at what I had caught, a small packet of chips (crisps) and I place them on the counter. Next to them are my glasses and a small container, it has two panels and a bottle of eye drops next to it. I screw open each side of the container before reaching my hand up to my eyes and pulling out my contacts.
Placing one contact in each side of the coloured holder and place my glasses on. (I described that real bad so here's a picture of what I mean)
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I still don't know how this girl deals with me. We're been friends since high school and she's been with me through thick and thin, well I really mean through obsessivness and panic attacks.
I vault myself over the back of the couch and land on the cousin as I reach for the remote. "Wanna get pizza?" I mumble into the couch as I feel weight on the other end of the couch to my head.
"We had pizza yesterday" she says as my head perks up "how did you understand me? I barely understood myself" I turn my head so I'm looking directly at her now as she shrugs "Fine. Chinese?" I plead. This was the final straw. The pout, "Noo not the pout, ugh fine. But you're paying" she groans as I fling myself from the couch "Fine by me"
I dunno. NorminahIsMyShit actually helped me through alot of shit today and I thought it would be nice to do something for her.
