The Modern Princess

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I gathered everything I have to start the story. This is not something I do every day. I hate telling it over and over again, it's like putting an alcohol on a fresh wound, it will somehow ease the pain, but still it is painful. I didn't want to talk about it for a simple reason-I still haven't moved on. But I think it is different now and I think there is no other time to tell him, to say my weakness.

"I did not left Philippines because of a job offering. One night he asked me to come with him, it was his friend's farewell party but I told him I'm too tired to come with him so I told him to go there by himself."

"The next day we were about to go to a meeting, I called him several times but he didn't answered my calls. I thought he was so drunk and still asleep so I decided to go at his unit to fetch him. When I went there I saw him and his ex-girlfriend still naked..." I stopped. Do not cry Katherine, do not cry Katherine, do not cry Katherine...but still tears ran down my face and he hugged me, my head resting on his stomach. I cleared my throat, the tears stopped running down my face then I continued talking.

"But he stilled pursued me. He offered me marriage, he offered me everything just to earn my trust again, for me to come back to him, but when I have decided about it, when I have decided I love him so much that I can still accept him after three weeks..."

I breathe deeply. "I've known that the woman got pregnant, Josh have known before him, and it felt like I was stabbed again and again, and when I thought of forgiving him, he wasn't there anymore, he wasn't free anymore, the chance has lapsed already. Of course, he will choose the woman and the kid over me. I convinced myself to understand that though it kills me inside, I don't want broken families, I especially don't want to break families myself." I sobbed. I thought I was strong enough, but whenever I remember it felt like it just happened.

"My whole world crash when I found out he made love with another woman, what more when I knew that they got married. That's when I started to hate men" I sniffed. My words were full of sobs but I continued.

"Since then I stiffen myself, I told myself that I will never fall in love again, that's why I always turn down any man who tries to court me"

"And this fix marriage? I didn't thought of any emotions at the first place but everyday that I am here, it kills me more and more"

He knelt down in front of me and held me on my shoulders, "It is not hard to love you Kathy, you are more than a pretty face" he caress my cheeks, cupped my chin and kissed me passionately, and after we kissed he lay me down on bed and he lie down beside me, put his arm on my shoulder and I put my head on his chest.

"Sorry, I was not able to control my emotions"

"Hush. I don't mind Kathy." And he kissed my hair. I waited for him to talk but he doesn't, what does he think? I move out from his chest, his hand still on my shoulder and I looked at him.

"You're not going to say anything?"

He closed his eyes and shakes his head He said then he kissed me again, a short sweet kiss. I stared at his face and traced his nose through my index finger.

"Tell me what's on your mind Jeanne. I want to know" I insisted. I'm afraid of what he's thinking I wish I can read minds.

"Now I know you have trust issues, but I know you trust me, I will do everything to keep that trust"

"And you have to trust me too"

"Does that mean you will stop acting like a brat?" his faced stiffen but after awhile he gave me a smile, his smile reaches his eyes