I Hate My Life? • Jachary AU

Chapter 15

ZACH

"I love life." I froze. What the fuck did I just say? Jack didn't notice but I did. I never say that. Is this a good thing? No no no I can't be throwing those words around like that.

I freeze. I feel tears come to my eyes. I waiting for Jack to realize something is wrong with me but then I start to hear light snores. How did this dude fall asleep so fast?

I want to fall asleep knowing I'm in good arms and just be happy and in the moment but my mind won't  let me. It's swirling with ideas of how reality hits me and everything could end and be taken a way from me so fast. But I don't want this to end. I'm happy. Jack makes me happy. I even told him I love him. But he didn't say it back. I then start crying harder until I taste the salt of my tears. This is how it suppose to be, me hating life. Not saying I love it.

***

The bell rings and I excitedly run down the stairs. My mom was already at the door. "Oh hi Jack." I see Jack at the doorway smiling really big and he dressed pretty casual, now I feel dumb for taking so long to get ready.

"Hi Mrs. Herron, I'm here to see Zach we're going to hangout," he tells her and trying to subtly look behind probably trying to figure out where I'm at. I'm honestly glad he didn't tell her we're going on a date, still don't want to come out just yet.

I go into view of the front door and Jack sees me as he stands just inside our house. "Hi Jack."

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah I'm ready I say quickly pulling him out the door not wanting him to talk to long with my mom any longer ughhhh she embarrasses me so much. "Bye Mom I love you," I say running out the door.

"Love you too, honey," She called out before closing the door. I let out a breathe I didn't realize I was holding in. Jack was just chuckling at me as we got in his car.

"What." I said as he started his car and began to pull out of my driveway.

"Nothing your really cute when your embarrassed," he said paying attention to road.

"What does that even mean?" I asked with a puzzled look.

"I don't know but you get so flustered whenever I see your family so I find it a cute," he says with a teasing smile.

"Ughh I just don't want them to find out we're going on a date."

"Well I don't know why your so scared they think we're two guys who are just friends but really we're two guys who enjoy each other's company a lot more than others and make out sometimes."

"Sometimes," I tease.

"Ok a lot," he says and we both start laughing. We then go into a awkward silence and I look out the window. I'm getting a lot more nervous we're going on a date but the thing is I don't want to get my hopes up for it all to end terribly. He never said he loves you. I try to ignore the voice in my head that keeps repeating that. I know he never said it to me yet but maybe he will after this date. Look I'm being positive you should be proud Zach.

***

"This is so good," I say as I eat the barbecue ribs not having any manners at all. Jack already finished his and now he is just staring at me. I find it creepy but i ignore it because these ribs are the shit bro.

"So what do you want to do with your life," Jack randomly asks.

"What?"I say trying to digest these good ass ribs. Mmhhh they definitely got all my love.

"You know like your future, do you want to go college, you know or what do you want to do?"

"Oh I haven't really thought about what I want to do." I know it's crazy how I'm months away from graduating and still don't know what I want to do with my life. "I want to go to college yeah, sure and I sent some applications but that's not that important to me and plus I probably want get in."

I look at him in front of me and he seems actually interested in what I have to say. "Then what is important to you?"

"I've always wanted to be free like away from everything preferably from this small town. I heard there so much more fun things out there to do but the downside is you can't really be successful and free at the same time, you know, probably not because it's pretty crazy."

I wait for his response but he just stare at me. He looks stunned. "I know exactly how you feel." He says looking lost in his mind. It surprises me what he says because I've always though he got everything cut out for him, like with basketball everything. I was pretty jealous but now I'm know looks can be deceiving.

I smile at him and he smiles back and we just sit in comfortable silence. We soon walk out the restaurant and Jack surprises me as we turn the corner to head to his car as he slams me into the wall. I smirk knowingly of what he probably do next but he then surprises me again when he puts some space between us.

"I had a great time today." He says.

"I know you did I'm probably the most interesting person you know," I say pridefully.

"Don't get to haughty," he says and I blush because at first I thought he was calling me hot but then I realize he was using big words.

He then starts to walk off to his car but I just lean against the wall. He looked back at me and he is gesturing me silently asking if I'm coming. I smirk and I innocently say, "what no kiss."

He just looks at me and gives me a playful glare with a smirk and walks back toward me. He slams me into the wall again but then just gives me a peck on the lips. I literally whine at him. That fucking tease. "I love you," he says.

I freeze as my mind processes what he said. The words I was hoping to hear. I smile back and say, "I love you too." And that led to a perfect night that nothing could make it worse.

As he drove me home I couldn't help but smile, when I got home I was still smiling and now I'm in bed still smiling.

I never knew someone could make me so happy. I really do love Jack he brings positivity that I really need, he understands me and honestly knows what I want and what I need. For the first time in a while I went to sleep peacefully while of course smiling and didn't think so hard about the bad things in life. All I thought about was Jack and Jack to me represents love and happiness and that is why he is the love of my life. And happiness.

You know what fucking pisses me off. Leaving me on seen or opened. Yeah I understand if you do it a couple times but doing it all the fucking time makes me mad. If you don't want to talk to me say it to my face bc trust me ur not the first person to not like me. I don't have many friends so I love to have a conversation. But I get it I'm not a likable person so yeah. Anyways.....I also wanted to tell you where I got the idea to write this book. I got it from my life. (Brain:Haa...WTF) If there is one thing I say everyday it's I hate my life. I don't know why I just always find a reason to. Just like the being left on opened thing is another reason it makes me mad and hate life bc I have no friends. But bitch I guess that's fine. Anyways I also like to thank you guys for the support on this story, I feel like I don't say it enough because it makes me happy that you take time out of your day to read it. Also comment because I love your feedback and ur comments usually make my day.