I've Got a Friend IN Me

All of my stories are seperate but they are part of the same series in a connected Dreamworks/Pixar Universe with a bigger story. This is the fourth one. Continued from 'Things That Go Kachow in the Night'

"Buzz! Buzz!" Woody cried into the dark night of Andy's room, "Bo Peep just got put in the attic!" Buzz's steamy visor opened up and he starred with his strong, blue eyes at Woody's trembling, slender body. Woody wrapped his arms around Buzz's waist and sobbed into his midsection, cold salty tears sliding down the spaceman's suit to his pelvic armor.

    Buzz consoled Woody the best he could. "Don't cry my friend," Buzz solemnly said, "there was nothing you could do." Woody wrapped his arms tighter around the one he had shared so much with, the one he would trust with his life.

    "But Buzz," he sobbed, "she was perfect for me. She made me feel things that no other toy ever could."

    Buzz slid off Woody's hat and tousled his hard, plastic hair. "I'm sure that there are others who could do the same thing for you... my dear and deepest friend."

    Woody's amber eyes traveled up the spaceman's strong frame. Buzz's own gaze made contact with Woody's, and for a moment, the two were connected in an indescribable way. They're souls were intertwined, and they shared one singular drive, each other.

    "Buzz," Woody slowly murmured, "I feel like I'm trapped, and I need someone to set me free."

    Buzz nodded, "I know Woody, let me help you..."

    Woody wiped the tears from his face, "How can you Buzz?"

    "Well Woody, I know of only one way," Buzz began, " you have built a shell around yourself to protect your sensitive side. In order of me to help you, I have to be able to penetrate your shell and reach your private side."

    Woody was confused, "You have to penetrate my shell?"

    "Yes Woody, I must deeply penetrate you to reach your private parts. Let me come inside your shell."

    "You need to come inside me?"

    "Yes Woody, I need to penetrate your barrier and come inside, deep inside, where you keep your privates."

    Woody nodded, "Well, if it's the only way, you may penetrate and come inside me." As Buzz rubbed his hands together in preparation for the imminent violation of his dear friend, Rex ran in from the hallway.

"Buzz! Woody!" the monstrous yet gentle beast yelled, "Evil Emperor Zurg is here, and he wants to EAT YOUR ASS!"

Buzz and Woody exchanged a look, they knew that they would have to wait before they could continue their act of... friendship. Woody rose to his feet to confront Rex. He shook off all feelings of loss, as he was a leader of these toys, he needed to be strong for them. He needed to be strong like Buzz.

"Okay, slow down Rex," Woody calmly stated, while hiding his own panic, "What exactly is going on?"

"Zurg just showed up out of nowhere, and he has an INSATIABLE HUNGER FOR ASS!" Rex began to panic, "We tried to talk him down be he only wants to EAT ASS, and if you don't run he is going to EAT YOUR ASS! He already got Sarge and Slinky Dog, and he is still hungry!"

Woody put a hand on Rex's shoulder, "I'm sorry Rex, but we have to stand up to him. We might not be able to beat Zurg on our own, but by leaning on each other, we can be strong." Woody's gaze shifted toward Buzz as he said those final words. Buzz nodded in agreement.

    "But Woody, I don't know if I-- OOOOOOOOF!" a crunch filled the air as Rex fell to the ground oofing. Where his ass should have been was a steaming hole, and standing behind the fallen soul was the Evil Emperor Zurg.

    "HOLY MOLY BUZZ?! HE JUST ATE HIS ASS! AND HE'S STILL HUNGRY!!!!" Woody cowered behind the spaceman, eyes locked on the corpse of his fallen friend.

    "Quick Woody, I come equipped with a S.E.X. T.O.Y. funcion!"

    "Buzz what's that?" Woody said in a shaky voice.

    "You know, S.E.X. T.O.Y., Secret Laser Blaster Located in my Crotch."

    "But Buzz, how do I operate your crotch laser?" Woody exclaimed.

    Buzz reached down and popped open his crotch compartment, revealing a gigantic, bulbous, black, 9 inch long laser, "Woody, I need you to turn it on. Try rubbing it, I'm sure there is an on switch somewhere."
    Woody began to vigorously rub Buzz's laser. As he did, it began to heat up. "Buzz!" Woody screamed, "I think it's working, I can feel it surging with energy."

    "Yes Woody," Buzz moaned, "keep rubbing my laser, I can feel it too!" Zurg began to approach Woody slowly. He shrieked and rubbed faster and harder than ever before. A low cry emerged from Buzz as his energy surged into his long and hard laser.

    "Woody!" he cried, "I'm about to bust a N.U.T., you know, an acronym for A Large Laser Blast!" With one final rub Buzz shot a load of thick laser all over Zurg, stunning him. Buzz fell to the ground, breathing heavily. "Quick Woody," he cried, "EAT ZURG'S ASS, it's the source of his power." Woody took the ass in his hands and shoved it deep into his throat. But it was so big, Woody didn't know if he could take it all in.

    "Woody," Buzz called, "you have to swallow! Do it for Rex! Do it for Slinky Dog! Do it for me!" Woody closed his eyes and swallowed Zurg's ass, killing the evil emperor. He fell to the ground next to Buzz, landing in the spaceman's open arms. He began to cry.

    "It's okay Woody," Buzz said soothingly, "It's over now."

    "But Buzz," Woody sobbed, "I'm pregnant, and you're the father!" As Buzz was rocked with the news Woody began to scream, "AHHHHH! My water broke! I'm having a labor!" Suddenly a stork swooped down, delivering three baby boys with cowboy boots and spacesuits.

    Tears rose to Woody's eyes, "Buzz, they look just like you. Will you help me raise them, help me raise our children?"

    Buzz stared deeply into Woody with a passionate stare. He moved closer to the cowboy, putting his plastic lips inches away from Woody's, "No, I gotta blast." Buzz activated his jetpack and flew away. As he did, he turned around to his dear friend and his bastard children, "This is why they call me rocket man." Then Buzz flew away, leaving Woody the single parent of three young boys with deep, suckling hunger.

The End.

The story continues in the next part: 'Coming Out of the Closet'