BILLDIP//Smut and Fluff

?Wtf? Writers: GravityFlies and OverTheFangirlWall

Dipper Pines was a curious boy- Always looking for adventure, he took the road less travelled and the books nobody else read.

This included journal number three.

He and the book had many great times together, fighting off monsters, warding off evil spirits, chasing away demons... Despite all this, their biggest endeavour was yet to come.

He was shopping at target, journal in hand when he saw the most beautiful tube of toothpaste he'd ever seen! It shone in the light of the store, label sparkling majestically.

The label read 'Crest complete cool peppermint liquid gel toothpaste', and he knew instantly it was magical. The journal had stated it was the most amazing toothpaste ever, and it had many mystical properties.

"It's perfect." He whispered to himself, rushing to the cashier and buying a dozen of them. Alex from target was there and Dipper fanboyed but had to hurry home so he could use his new toothpaste. His noodle arms carried the bags of paste back to the shack where he proceeded to brush his teeth vigorously.

Suddenly, a man with shiny blonde hair burst through the washroom door, a smile on his face. "I have arrived my dear Pine Tree." He announced, adjusting his fabulous top hat and bow tie. "I LOVE YOU MARRY ME PLEASE." He yelled, and Dipper nodded excitedly.

"Oh yes I'll marry you Bill!" He exclaimed, mouth still frothy from the toothpaste. "LET'S KISS IN PUBLIC!"

And so they did, and people started fainting because whenever Dipper smiled the toothpaste would make him look so hot they couldn't comprehend it. "Okay Dipper let's get married now." He demanded, pulling the boy to a conveniently placed wedding ceremony place.

"Oh yes let's!" He said excitedly, and they got married as all the people that showed up fainted too. Then a cake appeared out of thin air, the icing replaced with more Crest complete cool peppermint liquid gel toothpaste.

They ate it together and Dipper transformed into a magical princess! The people woke up and stared in awe."It's the princess of Crest complete cool peppermint liquid gel toothpaste!" They said in unison. "All hail the princess!"

"Let's make out again." Bill whispered seductively, and they did.

"THE UNIVERSE MADE US BE TOGETHER BECAUSE OF CREST COMPLETE COOL PEPPERMINT LIQUID GEL TOOTHPASTE!" Dipper yelled and they lived happily ever after.

The end.