Be Mine (Completed)

44. Why I still love him?

Arthit

Kong didnt meet me up for the whole day after i asked him to leave me alone. The moon i know never left me no matter how hard i pushed him away i just want him to hold me and say that what i thought was not true and he loves only me. But my moon left me without a word though he knows that my biggest fear was to left alone. He never loved me its her its her always. I was just a vessel to hold his mate soul. He took care of me not because he loves me but because he loves her and he hast to keep the vessel healthy in order to keep her safe.

All the kisses all the hugs and all the sweet words were for her not to me. I should have known it. No one will love someone like me. No one wants me. I should have kept myself at distance and never should have allowed him near me. There are lot of people in this world to serve him why she has to choose me. Why make my messed up life more messier.

I hate myself. I just want to sleep and never wake up at least then I won't feel this pain any more. It hurts, it hurts a lot. How am I to fight the pull that I had on him from the first moment I saw him. Why did I want to keep him near me though I know he is dangerous. Why the hell do I still love him. Why the hell am I ready to do anything for him though I know that he is using me. Why the hell should I be attracted to his scent, his smile, his blood. Why the hell am I attracted to all the things about him why.

I cannot stop my crying even all the tears in my eyes have dried. Why am I not able to stop crying. I just want to sleep I can't sleep too. His voice is haunting me again and again. I want to curl up like a ball and disappear. I just don't want to be here, anywhere away from here away from my kong is better. I cannot even say that he is my kong anymore. He belongs to someone else.

I don't know when I slept but I had a sweet dream. I felt kong warmth near me. His scent enveloped me. I just want to hold onto it tight as always. I smiled my kong my love my moon is here with me but something made me to awake with a jerk. I looked around searching for kong but he was not there. The room was empty. It was cold. It's all my hallucinations. Kong never came here it's me who is stupidly waiting for him. Tears started to roll down my cheeks again. Kong.

It's when I noticed something a envelope was placed on the table where kong use to stuck his notes. I took the envelope to see what was written on the envelope it was written please read it fully before you take any decision. It was carved on it by his beautiful handwriting