Thoughts, Musings, and Other Things

I'm so sorry

"I'm so sorry, Alice" There was so much emotion in those few words. They were filled with so much regret and sadness. They filled you up so much that they hurt to hear. He had tears running down his face and saliva building in his mouth as he cried. His eyes were on me. I could see all the regret and helplessness in them. It was as if his eyes were begging me to stay, just to get lost in the intense blue they held. "Please. Don't leave me. I need you." I could hear him but I was no longer looking at his eyes. I looked at his hand over my bloody stomach. The pain wasn't there but I knew it should be. I could see my blood covering his hand and flowing down my side to the concrete. My blood looked black in the dim lighting that the street light gave. I looked back up at him. There was so much concern on his tear stained face. I took in all his features as he begged me not to leave him. His deep brown hair was a mess covering his forehead and ears. His perfectly sculpted lips moved so beautifully. A small scar on his upper jaw moving as he talked. He was so beautiful. Almost like a dream, how could this boy be real? I could feel myself slipping away from all the blood loss. I focused in on his words. "You're going to be okay. You're going to be okay...you have to be okay." I said the first thing that came to mind. I wanted him to know it wasn't his fault it's ending this way. "It's not your fault...I was the one stupid enough to walk to back streets at night alone...I'm just glad I get to say goodbye...to you." He started crying even more and I smiled a little. With the rest of my strength I told him one last thing. "I love you so much, with all my heart forever and ever." After that my body felt so heavy and cold. I was succumbing to the darkness with one last look at the love of my life.