Ever since that night me and Jah have been talking a lot. We exchanged numbers after the party and now he's kinda like a personal therapist for me. He calls me about his problems and I call him about my problems. Talking to him is when I can feel most comfortable. Free of judgement, ridicule, and I'm not afraid to speak my mind. It's the weirdest relationship, being so close with someone who beat the crap out of my boyfriend.. but it's what feels most right. If that makes any sense.....
I was sitting in Xavier's apartment texting Jah on his couch. Xavier came over to me and plopped down, laying his head in my lap. I locked my phone and placed it next to me "how ya feeling babe." I asked playing with his dreads "I'm alright." He shrugged "just "alright"?" I questioned "work sucked." He responded "wanna talk about it?" I asked "nah, Fuck work. I just wanna focus on you." He smiled sitting up and placing his arms around my waist pulling my closer to him. I giggled wrapping my arms around his neck and placed soft kisses on his lips "well whatever it is on your mental just don't stress it too much. You're good at what you do. I believe what ever this is you can overcome it." I spoke tracing small circles on his back "I love you Ava." He said pecking my lips "I love you too."
Bing. my phone went off next to me and I broke away from our embrace to reach for it
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I let out a chuckle as I typed my response "What's so funny?" I whipped my head up as Xavier asked leaning over to try and see the screen. "Nothing." I responded pulling my phone to my chest "lemme seeeee." He whined reaching for it "noooo" I giggled "why not" he smirked pulling the phone out of my hands. I scrambled to get it back but he overpowered me, pinning my arms Down. As Xavier looked at it, his soft exterior hardened "so you texting a nigga." He glared "he's just a friend babe." I reassured "you don't need any more "friends"" he growled "xavier..calm down. you know me babe I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." I spoke. His eyes lowered and his grip softened letting me go. I sat up, reached for my phone, and took it. Unlocking it I went to check my messages when it was snatched out of my grip "Xavier!" I whined as he held the phone out of reach and scrolled through it "YO WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" He yelled "ITS NOBODY XAVIER I TOLD YOU." I yelled back "bull fucking shit." He spat "Xavier just give me my phone." I pleaded reaching for it. He pulled away and my arms fell to my sides "Ima call it." He declared standing up. My heart sank to my stomach. fuck.
It's not like I'm cheating on Xavier, I never even thought of it like that. But he does. The second Jah answers he's gonna- "Wassup Ava." All The blood in my face drained as I listened to his voice through the phone. Xavier's head turned to me slowly. He looked almost...calm? "Who is this?" Xavier spat into the phone "Who is this?" Jah spoke back "This her boyfriend nigga." Xavier spoke "Sound like a pussy to me." Jahseh retorted
WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING
"Drop your location bitch I'll show you what a pussy can do." Xavier growled clenching onto the phone "I already whooped your ass once. Don't make me do it again." Jahseh chuckled back
My head fell into my hands as I mentally prepared myself for what was about to happen. Crash I heard my phone being thrown across the room and shattering onto the floor. I listened to Xavier's heavy footsteps as they approached. I didn't look up until my head was forced up by him grabbing my hair "YOURE FUCKING WITH JAHSEH SLUT." He screamed into my ear. I winced at his volume. "XAVIER LET GO OF ME!" I screamed back pulling away. This only made his grip tighten as he dragged me by my hair and threw me onto the floor where he left me. I watched him disappear upstairs before lunging for me phone, or what was left of it. I quickly attempted to call Cora but it was no use, the screen was shattered and my phone wouldn't even turn on. I started to panic as I heard him coming back down the stairs. Tears brimmed my eyes as I braved myself for whatever beating he was ready to give me.
First it was my hair. He pulled me up by it and threw me across the room. Then he continued with his slurs and cusses. Calling me every foul name in the book. Before he finally sent me blow after blow. Slapping, punching, kicking. You'd think I'd be used to it by now huh? You'd think by now I'd grow a pair and just leave right? You're probably thinking "this dumb bitch is gonna get herself killed" And you're probably right. But I just can't seem to leave. It's like seeing a stray dog, all you want to do is help it, even if it snaps and bites you. You can't give up on the dog, knowing what it's been through, knowing you can change it's life and give it something better than what it's had.
Silence He stopped. I uncurled myself from my ball. Slowly. All the pain of my injuries surfacing causing me to wince. I heard his heavy breathing and felt his large presence over me. He took one final look on the damage he did before heading to the kitchen and fishing a beer out of the fridge. I waited until I could no longer hear his footsteps out the back door before getting up and limping to the bathroom. Looking into the mirror I couldn't even recognize myself. The bruise on my eye darkening and the blood pouring out of my lip masked the once strong girl I was. The one that wouldn't take shit from no body. The one that held her head high and carried herself with such light and happiness. What happened to her? Where did I lose her through the years? I felt a hot tear roll down my face and quickly wiped it away. No. I will not cry. This is not Ava's pitty party. I cleaned myself up and covered up what ever I could before exiting. I heard the car start and screech out of the driveway leaving me alone to clean up his mess. I looked down at all the broken glass and upturned furniture and just though, fuck this. I grabbed my keys and slammed the door behind me.
