The Kisses Of Life

Chapter 4

After what seemed like forever he managed to convince me for a conversation. I don't know what he had to say after all this. I don't expect my dream of him getting engaged with me to come true. Still who knows maybe he understood everything? Maybe my prayers got answered....

We sat at a table in the farthest corner of the food court. Quite silent and deprived of surveillance. I guess he understood it won't be a good idea to be in front of public considering my past records.

We sat there in silence. My hands crossed on my lap. Eyes burning a hole on the table in front of me. He was staring at me intently. My whole body shivered under his intense gaze.
He was was still trying to gain some courage to talk and me..... honestly i didn't want to say anything at all.

I had a billion of things to say yet i didn't want to. A part of me wanted to forget all those ordeals of past few months and hug him and never let him go. A part of me wanted to turn around on heels and go away. A part of me wanted to elope with him and be happy forever. A part of me wanted to beat the shit out of him. A part of me wanted to forgive him and patch up. A part of me wanted to spit on his face. I really hated this two faced bitch he turned me into!

"Anees i.." he tried to talk.

"Listen just leave. You had your time you just walked away"

"I'm sorry i didn't realise.."

I snapped at him "What did you not realise huh? Why i said i love you a hundred times in a language pretty much perspicuous to you? Or why i used to get mad whenever u talked of leaving me for your fiance?"

Yeah i always knew he was unable to fathom the depth of my love for him. I knew he would bring it up as excuse and that would hurt me. I knew him to well for my own good...

"She isn't my fiance anymore...." he muttered.

And that... made by blood boil...

"Oh yeah should have guessed that! I hope you are enjoying your married life?"

No Mr. Zayn you do not deserve a chance to speak now! What did he have to talk about? Tutoring him on how to have kids?

"Wait i didn't mean that..."

"I understand the meaning of everything Zayn! I understand the meaning of you choosing her over me. I understand the meaning of you not taking a stand in front of everyone. I understand the meaning of you not making any efforts to be with me. So don't think of talking this shit!"

That's it! I'm done now....

"Damn it!" He threw his hands over the table in agitation.

"Why won't you let me speak?"

"Oh i don't know! Maybe because you are a little too late and you're not worth it?"

"Anees please trust me.."

"Trust assassination was done a long time ago!"

No...i can't take it anymore. I need to leave. I can't afford to shatter again!

"Listen don't bother about anything. It wasn't pleasant meeting you so don't try to show up and say ta-da again!"

And with that i grabbed my sling bag darted off. I didn't looked back and rushed out of the mall. As far as i know him...he didn't try to stop which means he won't leave this city without having a conversation!

I caught a cab. I texted Julia some excuse for my sudden departure and sorry.

God knows how i reached my apartment maintaining my posture. I could feel the tornado of tears trying to spill out of my eyes. I could feel my pain resurfacing forcing me to scream. Somehow i managed to unlock the door with shaky hands and closed it with a large thud as soon as possible. I just sat at the door hugging my knees. My face buried in my arms propped on my knees. I let myself cry. My mouth open and teeth dug hard in my skin in attempt to suppress my skin. Sadly all this was familiar.

I craved for him to return. Yes he returned.... and he returned to tell me that he was with someone else? So generous of him..

I felt my heartbreak once again. This two years without him was hell for me. Nights were spent scrolling down his old whatsapp chats with me. I smiled at those little cute texts and contented myself with that. Sometimes i cried hugging myself. I struggled everyday with my broken self.

And he returned to tell now i have no hope to live for?

And i felt bad for myself. Pathetic loser. Dying for a guy who doesn't bother about me. They say love and time heal. But for me its like cancer eating out each and every ounce of my hope for living...

I stayed like this for an hour. My mind find it a perfect time for playing back my memories.

Yeah take it bitch for listening to that stupid heart of yours! Watch how u degraded yourself for a loser!

But thankfully i stood another chance. I stood up and wiped off my tears. I took out my phone and dialed a number.

"Hello"

"Sir it's me Anees! Remember how u we had a discussion about transferring me to the Bangalore branch of our company.... i was wondering if that offer is still open!"

I don't wanna see his face now.....