Sandstorms- Destiel- Supernatural

Explained

Castiel fell asleep as soon as Dean got to chapter three, exhausted from all the crying and panicking.

Dean stared at him with concern, and set the manuscript for his story on the bedside table.

He covered Castiel with the blankets, kissed him on the head.

He grabbed a lighter, and his cigarettes and headed out for a few hours.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Castiel next awoke, the clock read three a.m., and Dean wasn't next to him.

For some strange reason, he could smell pancakes.

He got up quickly, and stumbled into the kitchen, and there his boyfriend was, flipping pancakes on the griddle.

"You, my darling, are godsent." he smiled, shyly, and sat down.

Dean just chuckled and brought him a plate.

"Good Morning, my love. I thought you'd be waking up around this time, all that awkward sleeping." he kissed him on the head and sat down next to him.

After Castiel was done eating, they cleaned up together, Dean called Sam, and then they settled down on the couch with...what? You guessed it! Peppermint Tea.

"So, first of all, I think I need to explain my family in general."

Dean nodded, setting his tea on the coffee table, and folding his hands together.

"Anna, Micheal, Lucifer and I, are all my parents biological children. Anna's real name is actually Anael. We are all named after angels, my family is insanely religious, as you might've guessed." he ran his hand over the stubble on his chin. "Raphael, and Gabriel are both adopted, and my parents changed their names, legally, when they came home. My father is the CEO of Heaven Finance, and my mother is, well you guessed it. A housewife, because that's what she believes god wants her to do."

Dean took a moment to take this all in.

"I do not believe in god." Castiel stated. "Life was not fun for me, growing up."

"I believe it!" the taller man reached over and took Castiel's hand.

"I wasn't allowed to have opinions, or my own thoughts, and my self esteem plummeted as I got older. I got all shy and quiet, and didn't have friends. Then one day, I...I guess I sort of woke up. I met this really cute guy in highschool, and I really liked him. Things were going okay, until Micheal found us holding hands. My mother at first, just thought I was confused, and she just said that I would get over it soon. Then, when it didn't seem like that was going to happen, she banned me from seeing him, and made me go to church everyday after school. After that failed, everyone started beating me, whenever they felt like it. Anna and Gabriel were the only ones who left me alone, but they never stepped in. Highschool was my only escape from them, and then I finally got away when I went to college, I moved here. My family believes that I was cured, and that there are no more problems, considering, until I met you, I was almost completely alone-" he choked at the end, tears starting to fall, again.

"Oh, Cas..." Dean said, hugging him hard and tight, bringing them as close as possible.

Castiel cried into his shirt for a few seconds, and then pulled away to sip at his tea.

"Dammit, now I'm crying too." Dean hugged him again, and kissed him tenderly. "I-I love you so much, you know that, I can't even imagine, I just...I love you, I love you and I'm feeling so homicidal right now you would've even believe- oh GOD that was what that scar on your stomach was from...shit Cas, I-I love you, I just...I love you, I love you, I love you."

They both cried for what seemed like hours.

"You make it better, y'know?" Castiel mumbled. "After we met I stopped having nightmares."

Dean pulled him into another hug.

"I love you." apparently, that's all the emerald eyed man knew how to say.

"I love you too, and I actually feel better that I told you."

The rest of the day was filled with cigarettes, cuddles, tea and star wars.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Dean! Answer your fucking phone! It's Cas!" Sam bitched.

Dean chuckled and located his cellphone, and picked it up.

"Hey Frenchie."

"Hello Dean." Castiel's voice was hoarse, like he had been crying, and he didn't say 'Darling' like he always did.

"Are you okay?"

"I had a really terrible nightmare. I can't seem to sleep without you. Can I come over?"

Dean smiled sadly.

"Sure, Angel. Need me to pick you up?"

"That won't be necessary, I am already outside."

As if on cue, Dean heard footsteps on the front porch.

He hung up the phone and went to answer it.

He opened the door-

Castiel looked absolutely awful. His hair was greasy, there were dark circles around his eyes, he looked like he had been wearing the same clothes for three days, and Dean couldn't help but notice there was a large scratch on his arm. It had only been two days since they had last seen each other. What the hell?

Cas stumbled in, and Dean shut the door behind him.

"Cas, what the hell happened to you?!"

"I didn't sleep, and then when I finally did, I had some sort of sleep spasm and cut myself with a pencil sharpener." he explained.

"How...nevermind. Let's get you comfy."