Don't Make It True

I've Never Felt Warmer

There was a small knock on the door and Farkle opened his eyes.

"May I enter?" She asked nicely.

He smiled a bit. "You may. I'm glad to see you, Isadora."

"I heard about you and found it hard to sleep so I came to see if you were alright, are you?"

Farkle nodded. "I am now." He looked down at Maya sleeping beside him, he still had one arm securely wrapped around her.

Smackle stepped closer. "I am sorry for what I said. It was not your fault. I was just stating the facts as I knew them, but I left out what little knowledge of emotions I have." She apologized.

Farkle smiled. "It's alright. I was already blaming myself when I saw her on the ledge. You didn't do anything, it was all my own feelings of guilt overpowering my mind as if I could only think of everything as awful."

"That is a scary thought."

"When it makes you jump off a bridge it's very scary. I guess I never realized how much our feelings can truly control us."

"I understand. My eyes have been producing tears since I left the rooftop at an alarming rate and when Zay called to tell me what happened I-I-" She started crying and couldn't talk anymore.

"Isadora? May I hold you?" He asked seeing her wet cheeks.

She nodded. "Please."

He took his hand out to pat the other side of the bed and she walked over to lay beside him. He wrapped his arm around her so he had one arm around both of the girls he was comforting.

"This is nice." Smackle sighed.

"Hey Smackle." Maya opened her eyes and saw Smackle's face over Farkle's chest. She smiled a bit.

"Hey Maya. I am glad that you are alright." Smackle said giving her a small smile in return.

"I wasn't thinking clearly. I don't even know why I got up there."

"I don't know why I was on the bridge either. I was just walking, not really thinking, and yet I had all these thoughts running through my head, but they didn't make sense. As if everything bad that ever happened in my life was suddenly my fault."

Maya nodded against him. "I know what you mean. If I knew how long I was up there, it was probably just a minute or two, but it felt like hours and every thought in my head was bad. I even blamed myself for my father leaving, but now that my thinking is clear I know that wasn't even my fault."

"It didn't make sense. I felt like something else was controlling me, but it was still me." Farkle stated then he let out a sigh.

"Sensibility, the mental or emotional responsiveness toward something, such as the feelings of another." Smackle stated. "You both let that take over and didn't use your sense."

Farkle sighed. "Yes, and I know you have to use both, but in that moment I could not. It truly did take over my person."

Maya nodded. "I guess I use some sense if that's what keeps me off roof ledges." She chuckled.

"May I ask what you were thinking or should I say feeling? Was it betrayal and guilt because of Riley or insecure because you did not believe Lucas would want you instead of Riley?"

Farkle blinked and looked from Smackle to Maya. "I said what I said because I was going by fact. I knew how Riley felt, but I didn't know how you or even Lucas felt, I didn't think you knew how you felt. I knew it was a fact that Riley likes Lucas because she has stated so and I knew Lucas liked Riley because he has stated so, but I don't know how you or Lucas feel. I just didn't want to start the new year out with lies between friends and Riley was lying to both of you." He stated.

Maya sighed. "It's okay. You're right I didn't know how I felt, until he was leaning in to kiss me and you shouted out that Riley still loves him. I guess in that moment I felt everything all at once. Like I was betraying Riley and I felt guilty, but I also felt hurt that you cared about Riley's feelings more than mine, and I felt like I was getting in the way of Riley and Lucas being happy and I wanted to get out of their way, to get out of their lives. I also felt like Lucas would never want me when he can have Riley. She's better than me. She's pretty, nice, sweet, smart, and she stays out of trouble. I am none of that."

"You are all of that. You are beautiful and broken, but you always try to put yourself back together. Ever since I have known you, you have tried to put yourself back together, not throw yourself off a rooftop. You should not feel like less because Riley seems like more." Smackle stated giving Maya a kind smile.

"You too Smackle. I know you feel things sometimes. I know you feel like Riley is better, I feel that too sometimes, even though she will always be my best friend I can't stop comparing myself to her and since she is a Matthews I will never measure up to her, but she is also Riley and Riley does have flaws, we just need to remind ourselves of that."

Smackle nodded. "Yes, we do."

"How about I'll remind you when you compare yourself to her and you remind me when I do it?"

Smackle nodded. "Agreed."

"Well to me you are both very beautiful and important." Farkle stated seriously so they knew.

"Awe." Maya smiled and kissed his cheek making him blush.

Farkle smiled. "I have never felt warmer than I do inside now."

Smackle smiled and pressed her lips to his other cheek.

"Correction. Now I have never felt warmer than I do inside."
He grinned widely.