I Swear To You

Chapter 9

A few weeks have gone by. Chase and I both were going crazy without getting to go to the track. But today he had an appointment to get some tests done, so within the next couple of weeks we should know if he can race or not.

"Chase, relax," I told him. He'd been nervous and fidgety since we left.

"Relax? My entire career depends on this single appointment."

"Baby, I know. But they're gonna get on you because you have high blood pressure, so take a deep breath and think positive."

He agreed and I changed the conversation subject. Maybe help him get his mind off this for a bit.

The doctor came in a few minutes later.

"Your blood pressure's a little high. Might want to keep an eye on that," he told Chase.

I gave Chase a look that said 'I told you.'

He mouthed to me "I tried," and I couldn't help but giggle.

They took him back for the beginning of a long morning full of tests, scans and nerves. His career really did rely on today. As scared as I was, I didn't want it show, positivity is key, and Chase needed all of it.

"We should have the results on Monday," the doctor said, and sent us on our way.

"Well, we have another free weekend," Chase said when we were back in his truck. "What are we doing?"

"We could still go to the track," I suggested.

"I don't know, if I wanna go if my career is still up in the air."

And I didn't disagree.

"Is your aunt still on you about getting down there?" he asked.

"Of course she is."

"Maybe we should go there. Go tomorrow morning and stay through the afternoon, and we can watch the race at home on Sunday. Get our minds off the test results and the baby."

"They're still gonna ask about the baby."

"It's supportive people though."

"Supportive?"

"Well your grandma."

I thought on it for a while. I've never been close to that side of my family, except my grandma. It's a stressful thing for me, but Chase knew that.

"Yeah, let's go," I finally decided.

He squeezed my hand to reassure me that this is going to be a good thing.

*********

Saturday

We sat in our rental car in my grandma's driveway. One aunt was in from Alabama, another in from Kansas. Basically, my dad's entire side of the family waited for our arrival in that house. Talk about some anxiety.

But Chase, my rock, kept me calm the whole time and reassured me we'd leave the second I was ready.

I find got up the courage to walk into that house and my grandma was the first one to greet me.

"Oh, honey is so good to see you," she exclaimed as we hugged. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," I told her.

"I am so sorry about your baby."

"Thank you." I choked back tears. "We are too."

"Amy, you haven't introduced me to your man yet," my Aunt Jo called.

"Oh yeah, Aunt Jo, this is my husband."

"You got yourself a good one."

"I sure did." I smiled back at Chase and he pulled me into a hug.

For the rest of the afternoon we sat around the dining room table telling stories. They asked Chase about his racing career; from the moment he knew that's what he wanted to do with his life, to meeting me, to now. He told them everything; the good, his Xfinity championship, his first win. And the bad, the second place finishes, the wreck that put him in a coma. The thing that surprised me the most is that they were genuinely interested.

They also told their own stories about when I was little. Stories I was glad Chase got the chance to hear. And for the first time in, I don't even know how long, I actually enjoyed time spent with this part of my family.

"I don't wanna be the Debby Downer," my cousin, Kay, said. "But did you ever find out the gender?"

Chase started to speak, "No, it was too ear-"

"It was a girl," I interrupted.

Chase looked at me with shock. Or maybe it was disappointment, I don't know, I didn't actually look at him.

My family expressed their apologies, and we eventually got the conversation back off the baby.

I'm not quite sure what the conversation veered off to. I so was focused on what Chase was thinking right now. I was going to tell him, really; the timing was just never right with his accident. Not that I'm trying to make excuses.

"Thanks for stopping by, honey," my grandma told me as we stood at the door saying our goodbyes. 5:30 crept up on us pretty quick.

She hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're a strong girl sweetie; you always have been." She let go to look at me, "You have a wonderful man to support you too. You'll be ok."

I thanked her trying to hold back my tears as Chase and I walked off the porch to our rental car.

He started the car in silence, then leaned his head against the headrest and sighed.

"How'd you find out?" he asked without making eye contact. He didn't say specifically what I found out, but I knew.

"They did some blood work the day after the miscarriage and there was still some DNA. They asked me if I wanted to know and I just couldn't say no."

"Were you going to tell me?" he asked, this time looking at me.

Before I answered he put the car in reverse and pulled out of my aunt's driveway.

"Chase, absolutely I was going to tell you. But it was right before we were leaving for Daytona and I wanted it off my mind for Daytona, and then you had your wreck and the timing was never right, and..."

He cut me off, and laid is hand on top of mine that was resting on the center console. "But we go through things together now. You're there for me, I'm there for you, that's how these things work. It doesn't matter if the timing isn't perfect. Nothing's perfect and it's for damn sure that timing's never perfect.
You can tell me anything anytime, unless I'm racing. Don't drop a bomb on me when I'm going 200 miles an hour."

I laughed. A real smile came across my face, Chase too. He glanced at me quick before focusing on the road.

"I love you," he said. "Our little girl would've been so lucky to have you as a mom."

That comment made my heart fall a thousand stories. "Would have been." But not going to be.

"Could you imagine me with a little girl?" Chase inquired. "All that pink. I'd have to let her paint my nails. Lord only knows she wouldn't be able to date until she was 50."

Chase continued to paint a picture of a life with our daughter. Listening to him gave me hope that it'd happen for us one day.

A/N: Hey, so I'm not dead and going to start updating this more... hopefully👌🏼