Battle Scars -A Gruvia Fanfic-

-6-

"What are you doing here?" Juvia growled. He kept popping up everywhere! Was he following her? 

"Well, I..." he trailed off, obviously embarrassed. "I thought you might need help."

"Help? You followed me because you think I'm mental?" Juvia was astounded. Never in her life had she felt so offended. But you know it's true, her mind whispered. You know your crazy. It was all your fault your father left. Was it? You drove him away. You caused your mother's suffering. You must pay for your sins. What was she thinking? Juvia grabbed the sides of her head in frustration, tugging at her blue hair.

"N-no! I thought you might be in a tough situation... and you might need help. With stuff. Maybe money? Do you need a place to stay?" God, he was an idiot. Gray realized his words were not exactly polite, but before he could apologize, Juvia exploded.

"Do you think I'm weak? Do you think I can't take care of myself?" You can't. "Do you think I'm useless? Worthless?" She was screaming at him, which he found extremely annoying. Yes, he was rude, but couldn't she just calm down? "Do you think I deserve to die?" Juvia began to laugh hysterically, tears running down her face. 

Gray couldn't handle her. Forget his attempt at kindness; he ran from the alleyway as fast as he could, hearing her choke on her dark giggles.

That girl... I don't want anything to do with her.

******

Juvia watched him leave, unable to control the sounds coming out of her mouth. She could feel herself fading into a dream-like state. What was real? She wasn't exactly sure.

After a few minutes, she had calmed down, her laughter fading into huge sobs as she knelt in the dark. Using light from a nearby streetlamp, she pulled out her favorite blade. Sharpened with care, dull and dirty, quick and painful. It was heaven.

Juvia didn't care if people saw her. What would they think of her; a teenage girl kneeling and sobbing in a dark alley, cutting the skin on her arms to ribbons? Looking down at her arms, she retraced the word, reopening the scars. They weren't that old anyway.

It was too late when she realized that she had no bandages with her. They were all at the hospital, which she didn't dare go back to. They would think something was wrong with her.

But there is something wrong with you.

Shut up.

You do need help. Lots of it. Why didn't you tell him?

Please.

Why did you have to scare him away?

No.

Why do you scare everybody away?

Stop it.

Nobody will ever love you.

"SHUT UP!" she screamed.

It was a loud, harsh cry, probably audible from the main streets. But people couldn't see her here. They couldn't give her strange looks, offer to take her to a psychiatrist, pull out a knife and stab at her non-existent heart.

There was nobody here for her now. There never was. Gray was a fake, only trying to help to learn more about her so he could torment her.

Tears were still falling down her cheeks. Father, why did you have to leave? Why did you abandon me?

Because he hated you.

Because you were never enough.

It's your fault.

Juvia's internal battles continued, keeping her awake for the rest of the night. When morning finally came, she was a zombie, unaware and distant.

"Where am I?" She mumbled to herself, blinking in the sunlight. Oh, right. She was a few blocks down from the hospital, hidden in an alley for the night. Her arms ached, and she looked down at the fresh cuts. They shone in the light, not fully healed. They wouldn't be for a while, exposed to everything.

It's better that way.

Ignoring her cruel thoughts, Juvia walked into the street. People looked at her oddly, probably because of how dirty and lost she looked. What am I doing here?

Mother. Hospital.

Why?

She struggled to remember why her mother was injured in the first place.

It was your fault. You caused her pain. You caused her suffering.

I did?

Yes. Now she hates you.

Juvia felt confused, but listened to her head, walking in the opposite direction of the hospital. Her feet trudged.

Where would she go now? School?

It's Saturday, idiot.

Was it?

Why couldn't she remember?

Why was she so useless?

Why couldn't she just die already?

Why did she even exist in the first place?

**I do not own the image above!!

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Poor Juvia! 

Don't forget to comment!

(~^.^)~ Bai~**