virtuous deception || pjm (editing)

xxiv

JIMIN

"I have nothing to hide! I moved away because I was scared for both of our lives Jimin. Your dad knew too much. That's it!" The bell sounded as a woman entered. They looked around for someone before setting their eyes on Hyejin and then me. Hyejin looked at me, terrified and the woman who I guessed was her mum had the same expression. But as she turned to leave she stopped.

"Grandma, where's mummy?" A little five-year-old boy poked his head out. "Eomma?" he called. Hyejin turned white, flicking her eyes between the boy and me. I didn't understand.

"Mummy!" The little boy ran and hugged HyeJin's leg. "Can I get hot chocolate?" he asked, tugging on her jeans. Hyejin's mother walked towards us but Hyejin shook her head at her. Slowly her mother walked back and left as Hyejin bent down, picked him up and placed him on her hip.

"Jimin, we should sit down."

"Mummy? Who is he?" He pointed at me. The boy had black hair and a cute button nose like Hyejin's but had familiar eyes and familiar lips and a familiar chubby face which were nothing like hers. I'd seen this child before. Ji-Hyun had shown me photos saying it was a friends child. I never thought it to be hers.

"Noah, this is Jimin." She paused obviously deciding something. I could feel tears in my eyes. 

Did she move away and immediately get pregnant? 

Did she have to sell herself for money? 

What happened? 

Did she move on from me? 

She looked at me, then Noah, then me again and sighed heavily. 

"Noah, this is your Daddy"

 My heart actually skipped a beat. I could see the tears forming in Hyejin's eyes. 

Did she just say what I think she said?

"You said Daddy was far away?" The boy said with a tone of confusion and question.

"Yes Noah, and this is daddy." Noah reached out his hands towards me. I reached over and put him on my hip, hugging him close while feeling his warm breath on my back.

"Hyejin? How could you hide this from me?" I felt tears forming in my eyes. This little child, named Noah, hugging his tiny arms around my neck, his warm breath down my collar. I'd always wanted to be a father, I'd never wanted it to be like this. I had wanted to be the best father. The kind of father I never had.

But that hope had been stolen from me.

"I didn't want to alright!" She was crying really hard and I held her arm and sat her down at a table. The ahjussi brought 3 hot chocolates, two large and 1 small with mini marshmallows along the surface and a small chocolate biscuit. I offered her money but she shook her head and went behind the counter.

"Look Jimin, before you got shot, as we know, I left for a while. Well I was living with Chaeyoung and about a month after leaving, I got really sick and felt it was food poisoning. Well, after two more weeks, the sickness didn't go away and I was throwing up every single morning. So I went to the hospital, thinking perhaps I was crying too much or I had a virus or maybe was lacking vitamin D due to not leaving the house. They took so many tests and samples. And then they came back with my blood and urine tests. And they said I was pregnant. I was so happy. I heard your knocks and cries at the door but was unsure and just before Chae-Young was supposed to arrive home I decided I was going to tell you but then your dad's bodyguard came to the house and he- he- "her voice grew shakier as she brought a hand to her nose. Noah stiffened and tried to look around but I kept him turned away, not wanting him to see her like this.

"He hit me across the head with a pipe and kidnapped me. I was so scared for his life when they beat me over the next week. One day I even bled and thought I'd lost the baby. And then, they took me into that room. Somehow, he knew." She stopped, taking a deep breath, wiping the tears.

"He didn't want a girl like me carrying your baby. He didn't want me in your life at all. After you were shot he said it was my fault and threatened my life, saying he knew not just my life would be at stake." She paused again, catching her breath. "At the hospital when you were in surgery, I felt sick again and Chae-Young found out. Your brother came with clothes for us both and he had found my test results which I had brought home. He promised to keep it secret as long as I sent updates which he could show you and say it was a friend's baby. Then you flat-lined and I thought how if I didn't leave, that could happen again, or it could be me and I could lose the baby. I didn't want my child experiencing what I witnessed at a young age, or what you did."

We just sat in a moment of silence. "Jimin." Her voice had calmed, yet it still faltered.

"Yes." My voice merely made a murmur.

"Are you mad."

"No." I rested her head on my shoulder, with Noah sat on my lap. "But why didn't you tell me you were pregnant or come back sooner."

"Because you would come looking or what if I lost the baby. Over time we grew to love our life in London. It was nice." Her breath slowed back to normality.

"Do-do-do, the others know?"

"Yes. They threw me a party and found out when my mum brought him home."

"Home?"

"We have a little apartment." She tried to bring Noah to her lap but I hugged him closer.

"You have had like 5 years plus 9 months in your stomach, let me have a little time." She smiled.

"I have a LOT of photos and videos. You can at least see that." I appreciated her thoughts, but I grew even more upset, my shoulders feeling heavy and my heart clenching painfully.

"I missed so much. I never got to see him being born, or help choose a name, or teach him to walk."

"I'm sorry-"

"Please tell me he can't ride a bike."  I interrupted and she laughed.

"No, he can't." She looked at me with a small smile.

"Let's go somewhere. There's a park nearby?"

"Why not."

***

 Awwww aren't family reunions sweet!