The Perfect Man

Seven

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and months into years. Three years to be exact. I left home a week after I was discharged from the hospital. I did my residency in a teaching hospital in Cape Town and soon I'm leaving the country with Doctors without borders.

I'm still in touch with my mother and sisters and as for my father, I've forgiven him but our relationship is not the same. I chose to forgive him because struggling to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I don't think I can ever trust him and I feel like my mother made a stupid decision staying with him after everything he's put her through. She would always say, "You can't just throw 30 years away, he messed up but I still love him and I'm willing to endure and make it work."

Willem and I are still in touch as well and our relationship as siblings is a bit awkward.

The abortion still haunts me, I can't believe I killed my own baby. I cried for the longest time after that, I was so glad that Willem came with me when I got it. I feel like I've channeled all that guilt, pain and hurt into my work and into saving my patients.

I don't know where I'm headed, I don't know if I'll ever have a relationship like I had with Willem but right now I'm just taking things one step at a time and hoping for the best.    

I can't believe you're still here. I feel like we''re friends now. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it and that you've been voting. Lots of love.