Sanity a new story book 1

Chapter two: Recovery

Moving into the recovery room it took six people to move me from the gurney to the bed. Here I lay unable to move, speak, or even feel. After they moved me to the bed and leave I feel totally alone like I am the only person in the world. All I can hear are the machines keeping me alive. All I can see is the ceiling. Suddenly I hear the door open and slam shut. After a few moments, I could see someone out of the corner of my eye. Unable to tell who it is I figure that it is probably a nurse, the figure moves closer and begins to rub my head. Was it Jessica?

She begins to cry and as her teardrops fall on my face she tells me that it will be alright. I try to speak but, sadly I cannot. I can't even move my eyes to look at her.

 'Please look into my eyes so you can see that I am still alive.'  I thought to myself. Maybe if I can get her attention I could give her some comfort. 'There I felt something. I felt it again, my eye it twitched.' 

I hear the door open and close again, it's the nurse telling Jessica,"You will have to go. Visiting hours are over unless you are family."

"Can you tell me what his condition is? I am his fiancee," I hear Jessica's voice ask.

"Right now it is just touch and go, but he is stable for the time being we will let you know if there are any changes. Now you will have to leave," I hear the nurse's reply.

The door slams shut as the nurse begins to check all my vital signs along with all the machines when suddenly, she stops and is staring at my face for a long moment. 'Had she seen it? Can I do it again?' 

"Yes, I see young man you are trying to communicate aren't you." The nurse said as she put the needle into the IV. "We can't have that now can we." Her voice sounds vaguely familiar to me, but without seeing her face I can't be sure. 

As I start to lose consciousness I hear her laughing. This is very disturbing and does not sit well with me. All through the night, I had horrible nightmares about being experimented on. I dream that the doctor has implanted some sort of device into my neck to control me and is making me do horrible things.

When I finally woke the doctor was standing by my side examining the machines as well as me. He looked at me and asked, "Are you awake yet?" His voice also sounds familiar, but again his face is covered and I cannot tell for sure who it is.

 I tried as hard as could to make my eye twitch and it did.

"Good I have a surprise for you." He started sticking electrodes to my face, neck, and head. "This is called electrode-shock-therapy or a process that sends an electrical current through the nerves forcing the muscles to respond. With any luck, it will help you to regain some muscle movement. We will start light and progressively get more intense." 

I thought to myself, 'This has got to be some sort of joke.' The first shock came and I knew that it wasn't a joke, it kind of left me with a stinging sensation through my whole head and neck.

Week after week goes by, but I don't have any visitors at all. I suspect it is because they deny any guests from seeing any patients with this type of therapy. The therapy is getting very intense now and instead of just a stinging sensation, it feels like my whole head and neck are on fire. The burning is so intense that I can still feel it when it's not even there. At some points, it smelled like burnt hair, and I figured that it probably left me with burn marks all over my head and neck. After about a month I was able to move just a little. This gives me hope.

Even with my new hope, I find it quite despairing wondering, 'How can I get out of here to see Jessica again? I've got to let her know that I am still fighting to see her.'  Jessica fills my every thought and pulls me through day after day.

Six months later they took me off the support machines and for the first time since I have been here I drew breath on my own. The freedom is nice but still, is not enough I know that I can do more and one way or another I will find a way.

Two weeks later I started to make noise from my mouth. I am beginning to get my voice back. It isn't much but maybe I can work with it. I think it may be entirely possible that the tube that was in my throat damaged my vocal cords. The sound I made was very raspy and coarse, and my throat was very sore.

Slowly I start to get some function back in my face. Soon I was able to slur some words out. The nurse that cared for me at night was very tight-lipped about where I was and what their plans for me were. The doctor seemed pleased with the progress I was making. Still, I had no visitors, also I noticed when they took me out for therapy that I never saw any other patients. Now that I can look around just a little this place doesn't even look like a hospital at all. I am starting to wonder if Jessica even knows where I am.

I can remember Jessica rubbing my head, but I never saw her. She was chased out by the nurse. I also remember the horrible nightmares I had that night. That comment the nurse made, was it a dream or was it real?

The months ahead would prove to be my most challenging yet. As I lay alone in my room I constantly try to move. If I am going to get out of this place I've got to move. Even a little twitch here and there is something. My determination now is beyond that of anything I've ever done in my life.

It has almost been a year since I came to this place and I still don't know where I am. I don't believe that this is an actual hospital because the same workers are always present. 'Who has ever heard of a hospital where nobody had a day off?'

As the months pass, I begin to get more and more movement. I won't let them know the full extent of my movement. I overheard my night nurse telling the doctor, "I think that it is just another failed experiment." She made the suggestion that they just get another and dump this one with the rest. 'Somehow I have got to be ready.'

'If they leave me somewhere like this I will just die. I've got to figure out the full extent of my movement and do better. I've got to be careful though if they find out that I have been holding back they'll never let me go.'

Tonight I lay in my bed pushing my absolute limit. Right now I can move my head, somewhat flex my fingers and move my legs some. I can't tell if I am moving my feet or not. I can hear the nurse coming down the hall for a nightly round. Just as I close my eyes the door pops open and she walks in.

"What's this?" she said as she walks over to my bed. "How did that happen?" Somehow my foot has come uncovered. She takes a reflex hammer and uses the handle on the bottom of my foot. It takes every fiber of my being not to move, but I manage not to react. She covers my foot and walks out. At least I know now that I can move my feet, but so does she.

The next morning the doctor comes in and tells me, "Soon you will be transferred to the next step of the program for more intensive training as we believe that you are capable of producing more results."

 Night after night I work my muscles. Making them do their job, so I may get stronger. All I can do now is take advantage of the training and look for the day when I can see Jessica again, hoping and praying that day would come soon.