Somewhere, Out There

Chapter 2- Humiliation and Sympathy

    It's been 5 months since Matt left. The mission is going well, and according to the last message I received, they should be able to land on Kerberos in a week. Matt said that they were ahead of schedule, and that he'd be home a month sooner. It doesn't seem like much, but to me, a month is a very long time. I'm excited to hear about the ice samples they'll find. Dad said that he can't provide me with any a information, because it's 'classified', but I'll get it out of them one way or another.
    Suddenly there's a knock on my door. I jolt up in my chair as it caught me off guard.
    "Katie." Mom said from the hallway. "Are you ready?"
    "Mhm." I answered, grabbing my coat and backpack.
    It's Friday. And while most kids love Fridays, I still have to leave the comfort of home and spend 7 hours with people who hate me. It sucks, and I hate it, but this year, my science class is really enjoyable. It's Biology, one of my stronger fields. I probably know so much because of Matt and Dad, and occasionally the lectures are boring because I know the material already. Regardless, it's still fun to do all of the experiments.

      * * *

    I enter my science class and take my seat. It's in the back right corner against a wall. After the bell rings, my teacher begins the lesson.
    "Lets start off with a quick recap of yesterday's lesson. Who can tell me what facilitated diffusion is?"
    My hand shot ups immediately.
    "Easy question" I thought to myself. "We went over it about 100 times."
    My teacher sees my hand and smiles, "Katie. What is facilitated diffusion?"
    "It's the passive transport, as opposed to active transport, of ions and or molecules across specific bio membranes through specific proteins, know as transmembrane integral proteins." I answered, all in one breath.
    "Very good." She replies.
    She asks a few more questions, and I do my best not to answer them all. After we reviewed yesterday's material, we move onto today's lesson.
    "For the next two weeks, you will be working individually, or in a group of two, on a lab. This will be a project grade, so you must work hard. Each student will be graded on class participation, overall input to the project, and how well you can follow the directions." She began passing out the project packets. "Because I am nice, you may choose your partner. Or you can choose to work alone. When I say go, you can find a partner."
    In all normal circumstances, I'd much prefer to be alone. But not only did I sort of promise Matt that I'd be more social, but also, because I'm entering the Garrison in two or three years, I need to work on my social skills.
    "Boys, please stand and choose a partner."
    Just over half the class stood up and moved to sit next to someone, most likely their best friend.
    Just as I zone out, someone stands next to me, and clears their throat. "Uh, Katie right?" He asks.
    I nod, not really knowing what to say.
    "Do you want to work with me?"
    I can't tell if he's joking around or being serious. "Sure why not...?" I say, hesitantly.
    He then smiles, and starts to laugh. "Are you serious?"
    "Yeah..." I respond, a little confused.
    "You actually think I'd ask to work with you?"
    "Why not?"
    "Why not?? Because nobody wants to work with the likes of you." He scoffed
    "What? Are you too scared to work with a girl smarter than you?" I stand up, my nose barely reaching his chest "Does it make you feel insecure? Because you might actually get above a D if you work with someone who knows what they're doing, instead of your group of friends." I glare at him. The height difference makes this situation very awkward. He's a good two feet taller than me, and I know that I cannot win. But it was worth a shot.
    "Look, shorty. I understand we don't see eye to eye, but never in a million years will anyone alive want to be in a group with Ms. Know-it-all!" He turned around and walked off. His friends were all laughing and mocking me.
    Slowly, I sat down, placing my head in my arms. "This isn't fair!" I told myself. "Why can't I just make friends like a normal person?! What's wrong with me?!" I desperately want to disappear, or scream, or cry, or throwing something. I'm embarrassed, angry, humiliated, and upset.
    A few minutes passed, when I heard someone else call my name.
   "Katie?" I didn't look up.
    It's probably just another bitchy student trying to make me look like a fool again.
    "Katie??" The voice repeated, serious this time. I slowly look up.
    Crap. It's my teacher.
    "Can I talk to you after class?" The room erupted with a chorus of 'Oooooohhhhh' from all directions.
    I nodded slightly. I don't have a choice, but if I did, I wouldn't stay. I'd go home. Go somewhere with people who actually care about me.

   * * *

The bell rang, and the kids poured out of the room. I stayed back, my teacher waiting to talk to me.
    "What did you need me for?" I asked, playing dumb, as if I don't already know that I'm in trouble.
    "I wanted to ask you about what happened today. Why you said what you said." She leaned against her desk, her arms crossed.
    "It was nothing. Really."
    "Katie. You practically called a classmate, and his friends idiots. You also acted like you were trying to pick a fight. Why?"
    "As always, it's my fault" I mumbled.
    She sighed, and looked at me, "You're my best student. I can't deny that. You're also not the type to pick a fight with anyone. Would you be able to talk to me about what happened?"
    "I shrugged. "I guess. It wasn't really anything. He just asked if I wanted to work with him, and I said that I wouldn't be bothered by it. But then he told me that he'd never want to work with me and made me look like an idiot in front of everyone."
    "Well. I thought you were very brave to stand up for yourself. Though next time, don't be so direct about it."
    I stayed silent.
    "You do know that I care about you, right? You're my student, and as your teacher it's my job to support you. It saddens me to know that one of my students feels lonely each and every day. But I want you to know that I'm here for you. If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm always available."
    "Thanks..." I said quietly. "... But I don't need your help. I'm used to it by now.'
    "I'm sorry to hear that. It shouldn't be that way." She paused slightly, "But you know it doesn't have to be like this."
    I sighed, "I get what you're trying to say, but you don't understand what is going on. I've been the nerd ever since I can remember. I've tried to change it. But whatever I do just makes everything so much worse.... It's best if I just accept it and move on." Silence fell over the room, and I looked down at my feet.
"Can't I just got home? This is pointless." I thought.
    "You're right," she began, breaking the silence. "I don't understand. Which is why I want to help. I wasn't very popular as a kid either. But talking it out worked for me. I'm sorry that it doesn't work for you. I might not know what it's like to be you, but I do know that kids are mean, and that you never deserve to be left out. You shouldn't accept things for what they are. You don't like what they do... Do you?"
    I shook my head slowly.
    "Then why don't you do something differently? Have you tried to make friends?" She asked.
    "Yes! But everyone who I talk to treats me the same way! It's never going to be any different."
    "What about me?" She smiled a little. "Am I different?"
    "You're a teacher." I replied through gritted teeth.
    "Look. My point it, that if you want to make friends then maybe you should be the one to change first."
    "But I don't want friends! I can't make friends! I suck at social interactions and I don't work well with others! I never wanted friends. I just want them to accept me for who I am!"
    "Alright." Her voice was calm. "I get that. I won't lecture you on making friends. I'm sure you know how to do that. However, I am here to let you know that I am on your side. If you ever need anything, you can talk to me."
    "Yeah, sure..... Thanks" I mumble.
    "I like to know that I'm not the only science wiz in the world. I heard your brother is quite the scientist himself."
    Hearing someone mention Matt surprised me, especially here. "Yeah." I nod. "He's actually on the mission to Kerberos. So is my dad." I found myself smiling.
    "That's pretty neat. You'll have to let me know what it's like."
    "Actually, there is a monthly broadcast on the local news channel! The Galaxy Garrison releases some information to the public, and it's on the news once a month around ten o'clock." It's nice knowing that I have someone to talk to about space. Though, I wish it isn't a teacher.
    "Well thanks for letting me know. I'll have to tune in once in awhile."
    I made my way to the door and smiled, "thanks for not hating me..."
    "They don't hate you, they just don't know you properly."
    I shrugged, not believing her.
    "Oh!" She called to me just as I was leaving. "On the test you took last week, I graded yours. 100%. Nice job."
    "Thanks." I smiled and walked out.
    I really hate talking to teachers. Mostly because they never understand me, but she's not all that bad. She actually cares about me and my grades. Not just about getting paid like most of them do.
    As I made my way to the car, I walked with a slight spring in my step. Not only have I found someone else who likes space, but I'm excited to go home. Sure, I'm not completely lonely here anymore, but she's a teacher, not a friend. More importantly, I'm finally able to talk to Matt again. I can't wait to tell him everything that's going on. Plus, he's about two to three days from Kerberos, and that means that he'll be examining ice soon. I hope he tells me something about it. As long as the Garrison doesn't know about our little chats late at night, we can't get in trouble. Besides, what the Garrison doesn't know, won't hurt them.