Love Knows No Limits

Life Altered at the Shelter

Hailie, Lou and I were just sitting at a table after sneaking in the back of the Shelter for Eminem's 'Mom's Spaghetti' pop up, eating our own individual Chinese boxes full of delicious homemade spaghetti.  We make sure to sit in a darkened corner so no one will recognize Hailie.  I'm shocked her father hasn't come looking for her, yet...

"So, no one here suspects your dad is going to show up tonight for a meet and greet?" I ask, leaning in close so no eavesdroppers can possibly overhear us.  I'm anxious to finally be meeting Slim Shady, but hoping secretly that he won't show so I can put off meeting the man of my fantasies a little bit longer.

"Nope!  A lot of people think it's just a gimmick to promote his new album and that it's nothing major, but they have a huge wake up call coming for 'em.  Especially you Cammie," She says while nudging me, looking much like the cat that caught the canary.

"Man, I was hopin' there'd be more single dudes in this joint to get my buzz goin'," Lou huffs with her chin resting on her hand, looking bored out of her mind.  "Think that cook over there will stir my pasta if I eat his meatballs?" Pointing over to the chef who made us our food and has been glancing over here for the last 20 minutes.  

Yep.  That is our penis hound, loud and proud.

Hailie tries to get her spirits up, "Hey, my dad's got loads of friends if you're interested.  Friends of all ages," She laughs and winks.

I laugh, too, and join in, "And their friends mini friends of all sizes!" We all start cracking up.

Boy, we all seriously need to get laid.

"Girl, you gonna be getting the star dick and you know it!" says Lou.

I turn beet red, considering she's talking about our best friend's dad.  Said best friend is sitting right next to me...smiling?

"OMG yes!  You'd be like my new mom or some weird shit," Hai Hai says in between cracking up.

"Don't even kid with me when it's not even going to happen," I mention, in a slightly more downtrodden mood.

"You never know, girlfriend," They say simultaneously.

Suddenly, we hear a cough into a microphone.  It's a Mr. Paul Rosenburg.

"Hey guys, we have a very special guest here for you tonight.  I hope you enjoy eating your spaghetti while listening to Marshall's albums.  So until then, be kind, behave, otherwise we'll put some spaghetti over your head." Everyone chuckles while snapping some pics of Eminem's long time friend and manager.

"Mmm, that man can tickle me with his pickle any day of the week."

"LOU!" I exclaim while laughing and smacking her while she tries to hug me, semi agreeing with her.  I do love deep baritone voices in men.

Hailie's phone dings, she texts back for a few seconds before replying, "Hey guys!  My uncle Nate is here!  He said to find him by security so we won't get stomped on by fans."

"Yes!  Bring me some grade A security bootay," Lou says with a wicked gleam in her eye.

We all stand up, me more slowly than the girls, who unfortunately take notice of my apprehensiveness and start bugging the shit out of me.

"C'mon babe, my dad will love you!  We've been friends for so long and I've said nothing but great and flattering things about you to him, there's nothing to be scared of," Hai tries soothing my fears and distracting me by pulling one hand while Lou tugs on the other, dragging me towards a long black table with several people already lined up.

"Yeah girl, I ain't even met the dude, yet.  To be honest, I wouldn't mind sinking my teeth into his little stage sidekick, Kon Artis," Lou grins, biting her lip.