Just Different

Chapter 31

"Talk to me Chester," Rob begged. He held the blonde's hands in his, intertwining his fingers with Chester's. Rob gripped Chester's cold hands, but not enough to cause him pain in his arm.

"I...I don't want to," Chester said flatly. He almost acted like a stubborn child, his bottom lip sticking out and trembling as he turned away from Rob.

"Please."

"No!" Chester cried. He gasped out a sob, suddenly. Everything that had run through his mind that day was still tumbling around in his thoughts, causing him too much pain, making him feel too much.

Chester refused to talk and Rob was growing restless from Chester's stubbornness. What had happened? Something new, something different...Chester had cut himself over it. Rob had to know what it was. He wanted to fond out so it would be easier to help his friend.

"The only way I can help you is if you tell me why you..." Rob trailed off. He couldn't finish what he was going to say. Rob let go of Chester's hands and reached around the older boy, bringing him close to his chest.

Chester closed his eyes, inhaling a bit roughly. Rob's embrace brought a feeling that he couldn't explain, but it felt like...appreciation? No, it seemed deeper than that, but Chester couldn't pinpoint what he felt. He didn't like it, but it made him feel warm. It made him feel okay...

"It was Dave...at first," Chester began softly. His eyes were still screwed shut as he choked out words. It was difficult, but he was able to convert his thoughts into words.

"What happened?" Rob asked. He rubbed his friend's back soothingly, ready for a possible emotional breakdown.

"He just...we...he wanted to mess around again and..." Chester's chest was rising and falling rapidly ad he struggled to breathe properly. 'You can do it. He's gonna help you.'

"He touched me, when I didn't want him too. And it wasn't just grabbing, he stuck--" Chester stopped again, but Rob was beginning to get an idea of what Chester meant.

"Oh, Chester..." Rob sighed. He hugged Chester tightly. He felt the older boy shake against him.

"I went to the restroom right after...I felt sick and I wanted to throw up...and...and when I saw myself in the mirror," Chester sobbed, "I hated what I saw. I hated every bit of it."

Rob gulped and stroked Chester's head, his buzz cut prickling his hand softly. So it wasn't entirely Dave's doing, but Chester had beat himself up too.

"I hate myself so much Rob," Chester cried. His face was heavy with snot and tears as he bawled against Rob's t-shirt. Rob felt the urge to cry again as Chester clung onto him.

"I hate m-myself so much. No one loves me and I feel so--so alone..." Chester sobbed and sobbed, uttering a few words every now and then. "I just want...I just want to..."

Rob clamped a hand over Chester's mouth, a sob of his own beginning to form. "No. No Chester, don't you say it.

"I hate myself too Ches. I hate how I'm different from everyone else. I felt alone too until I made friends with you and Brad. You make me feel like I'm actually worth something. You make me feel good enough to be with Brad." Rob's hand moved from his mouth and wiped the stray tears from Chester's face, looking him directly in his glossy eyes. "You're my best friend Chester. And I love you. Mike loves you."

Chester cried out, his own hand covering his mouth. Mike loved him back. Mike loved him back. He shook with another round of sobs. Chester's head pounded from all the crying he did that day, but this time it was worth it. He was suddenly elated with pure joy, a feeling that was still new to him, but felt natural.