"You don't look so happy Isaiah." Jasmine said as she walked up to me at the bus stop.
It was the truth. I wasn't. After the disaster on Friday, Corinne didn't reply to my calls or texts all weekend. I was dreading to see her at school because I know she will give me the cold shoulder. "I've had better days." I told Jasmine.
She gave me a puzzled look. "Funny, I thought you would be happy after you and Corinne's anniversary. You guys did go all the way this time...right?"
I didn't answer right away.
"Are you serious?! What happened this time? And don't tell me Joey had anything to do with it!" she was laughing.
I was not glad that she was finding this funny. "I freaked out.." I said in a low voice.
Jasmine looked at me confused again. "You freaked out? Why? How?"
I let out a sigh. "I don't know Jas. I mean, everything was fine. We were kissing, then she started taking her clothes off, and I just froze."
"You mean her boobies scared you?" she laughed loudly.
I rolled my eyes. "No Jasmine. It was the other thing."
She stopped laughing. "You mean, you got scared of her..." her voice trailed down and she looked down towards lower stomach.
"Yes."
"Isaiah, haven't you seen one of those before?"
"I have, but only in family life books. I don't know why I was so disturbed." I hung my head in shame.
Jasmine reached over and gave me a reassuring hug. "It's okay Isaiah. It was your first time. I'm sure all guys froze like you did."
I wasn't buying it. "Jasmine, I'm not sure about that. From all the stories I've heard about guys and their first time, nothing ever stopped them. Axel never told me he got scared when he saw his girlfriend fully naked. I mean, even when we were kissing, I wasn't feeling anything, and you're supposed to, aren't you? I don't think I'm even attracted to Corinne like I should. I don't think I ever was really attracted to her to begin with. I don't know what's going on. There's something wrong with me." Before Jasmine could reply, the bus pulled up.
At school, it was the same thing with Axel.
"What do you mean you froze, bro?" he said in disbelief.
"I froze, and I just left the house. I'm such a dumbass for it."
"You're right! How could you not continue what you were doing? When you see her naked, you're supposed to go even further, it's supposed to motivate you."
I guess he was right.
"You're not gay are you bro? Because usually gay guys hate looking at a woman's lower body." he said chuckling.
"No, of course not." I laughed.
"You probably just got cold feet. I'm sure the next you'll be able to do it." he winked at me and continued the math assignment we were doing.
I tried to do the same, it was what Axel said that was stuck in my mind. I wasn't gay, otherwise I wouldn't be going out with Corinne, right? Then I thought about Joey and how he always made me feel...different inside.
No, there was no way I was gay. I just got cold feet like Axel told me.
I went through the rest of the day distraught over what happened on Friday. Corinne didn't sit with me and Jasmine at lunch. I didn't even bother to try and look for her, knowing she would ignore me. The rest of the school day was slow.
When I got home, I flopped on my bed and let out a loud groan. What was going on with me? I needed to clear my mind, so I did my homework. It didn't help any. I looked at my alarm clock and it read 357pm. I needed to be at Joey's house in three minutes. Why was I always so anxious to see him? I grabbed my Spanish book and walked out of the house and went next door.
He opened the door on the first knock as always. "Hey." he smiled.
I walked in smiling saying hey back. We went upstairs to his room where jazz was filling through the air again. He turned his music off and sat on his bed. Instead of asking me the usual "what did you learn today?", he had a different approach.
"So how was your first time with Corinne?" he asked wearing that sly smile.
Here we go again. "It didn't happen."
His smiled was replaced by a confused look. The look I kept getting all day. "Did someone interrupt again?" he laughed.
I didn't. I let out a sigh. "I froze. I got scared."
His face became understanding. "What made you freeze?"
"I don't know. Everything was going fine. Then she started taking her clothes off, and I saw her naked. I froze. I don't know why, it was like I got scared. I didn't like what I saw like most guys would've. There's something wrong with me. I don't know why I freaked like that." I said in a mouthful.
Joey smiled warmly. "There's nothing wrong with being scared Isaiah. I'm probably sure that you were just nervous. Everyone gets that way their first time."
"That's not how Axel described his first time. Then he said something that only gays get scared when they see a woman's body." I said sighing. "But I know I'm not gay."
Mixed emotions started to play across Joey's face. He almost looked offended. "That's not true!" he said quickly in a sharp tone. He then calmed himself down. "I don't think that's the case. All guys are different. Some are more sex craved then others. Don't try to compare yourself to others. Got at your own pace, Isaiah. I'm pretty sure you were just nervous."
I felt myself calm more. "I guess."
He smiled. "Don't guess. Know."
"Fine, I know." I said laughing.
He smiled too and took my Spanish book. "So what did you learn today?" And our lesson started.
YOU ARE READING
The Neighbor (boyxboy) [On Hold indefinitely]
Teen Fiction"The Neighbor" follows the high school life of Isaiah Wells, who was born into a wealthy family. His mother is head of the Paradise Springs Ladies Book Club, and his father runs the family convenience store that is branched all over the USA. Then du...