Begin Again

13.

You okay?" Noah asked as he led Sharna out of the house and to his car.

"Mmhmm." She said quietly as she waited for him to open her door and help her in. She slipped into the car and settled into the seat, buckling her seat belt as he came around to the other side.

"You know you can talk to me baby?" Noah said gently as he pulled out of Maks's driveway.

"Baby?" Sharna said looking at him thrown off. Up until then, he hadn't called her any pet names or anything.

"I, umm, yeah....it felt right. I won't do it again if you don't like it or aren't okay with it." He rambled as he pulled out onto the highway.

"No, no, I like it. You just haven't done it yet." She said smiling at him softly.

"I know, now talk to me. What's on that pretty little mind of yours?" He said as he reached over and took her hand.

"I'm..." She started.

"Don't say it Sharna May. Don't say you're fine. I may have only known you for two weeks but I know when you're not fine. And your eyes say you're not fine." He said squeezing her hand.

"I don't want to start our first official date out like this." She said softly as she looked at him.

"By talking about what's bothering you? There's nothing wrong with that baby. You need to get stuff out. This is all scary. If we don't talk, it'll never work. And we have all night. So we can talk or do whatever we need or want to. And we have a half hour til we're at dinner so we have lots of quiet car time." He said with a wink.

"I'm worried about Maverick." She said as she looked out the window. "And I feel like I shouldn't worry about Mav because he's yours and if you're not worried then I shouldn't worry. And I don't mean that in a bad way, I hope you know that. I just, I don't know Noah. I wasn't expecting any of this and I'm not saying I don't want it or I don't like it. I just, sometimes I feel like I'm one of those tops that spinning out of control and I don't know how to fix it. I'm sorry."

She tried to take her hand out of his but he held tight to it, not letting her go. She looked back over to him and caught his eyes.

"First, breathe baby. Please." He said as he watched her for a minute as she took a few deep breaths. "Now, you're allowed to worry about Maverick. And it's not that I'm not worried about him. I know you are, so I've dialed back on it. Plus, tonight, I wasn't worried because I know he's with Maks and Peta. Namely Maks but Peta as well but I know he was going to have fun. Leaving him is always hard but I've learned to deal with that one. It's new for you and I get that. I used to drop him off at my mom's or daycare and then just sit in the car convincing myself to go to work because I felt awful leaving him. But then when it was time to pick him up, I would get there and he'd be as happy as can be. And he was so excited to see me. It didn't make it worth it because I hate being away from him but it made it doable. But it took me a long time to get there, so I wouldn't expect you to feel that way right off the bat."

"Yeah but...."

"No buts Sharna. You love him. You loved him immediately. And I love that about you. It makes all of this that much easier on me. But I also know what it's doing to you. I'm not judging you. I just want to help or well listen. I know it's not a lot that can actually be helped."

"I'm afraid of how he is going to be affected when I leave. I mean we only have so many words Noah. Or so many words that he actually understands."

"I know. I am too. I think it's going to be hard but we'll figure it out. Nothing worth having is easy. And I will always believe that."

"I agree. I just don't want to hurt him anymore than he already has been Noah."