Even Death Won't Do Us Part

Chapter 8

Before the sun revealed its vibrant eye , changing the blue canvas overhead into a mixture of complimentary hues of various shades of auburn, crimson and scarlet , I was already there.  There, sitting in my car in the parking lot of Philly High.

        I haven't been to sleep. For five hours I drove, thinking about Auburn. It was like over Christmas when I was alone, only this time I was kept company by images I couldn't escape. Every time I blinked, there was the shed, charred and crumbling. Every time I took a breath, there was that horrid, pungent stench of an aching fire. I turned the radio up loud and forced myself to sing along. Scream along. It's what I had to do to keep the tears from coming. 

      Now I sit huddled in my coat and scarf, watching as the sky turns from black to gray to clear, cold blue with bright yellow streaks of light. At 7:20, I get out and walk towards the school, waiting for the students to arrive. If this were a regular day, I'd be nervous knowing that I'm about to have to talk to so many people I don't know, to ask them for something. But as it turns out, there are many worse things to be scared of.

         Finally, they began to trickle in--two tall girls in fuzzy boots and pea coats, a small guy with an enormous backpack, three huge dudes in varsity football jackets.

         I'm not sure who I'm looking for, exactly, and I could barely see them last night on the beach , but Auburn's type of person is never that hard to spot.

         There's a girl in all black with short dark hair. I walk up to her."Did you know Auburn Bellemore ?" I say.

         "Who?" the girl tips her head to the side, confused. She smiles slightly. I ask again. She shakes her head.

          I ask a guy with a skateboard and two girls wrapped together in a very long scarf, a kid with a Mohawk and a dozen more people after that. They all say no. But someone who knows her is here somewhere and I'm not giving up until I find them.

        Three guys are walking toward me now. Two are tall and lanky, one is short and sturdier; they're dressed in black and green and grey. I feel a tingling in my gut.

        I  make a half circle and come up behind them. They don't notice me. They're talking. I listen.

        "...appear in court," says one of them.

         "I can't believe you're even here today."

         "My mother bailed me out at two in the morning. Then stood over my bed at six and told me to get up and go to school."
        "Daaaaaamn."

         "Yup." the first one snorts. "Thanks so much for backing me up."

         "Well, you're the one who brought the vodka up to them. What did you think they were going to do, make you a bloody martini ?"

        These are they guys from last night. The guys from the beach.

           I walk faster, fall in with their steps."Hey."

They turn toward me. One of them smiles slightly, looks me quickly up and down, the way guys do. I can feel my hair blowing around my face. I've never thought I looked like very much--average height, kind of curvy (kind of), eye-shaped eyes, nose-shaped nose, dark blond hair that cascades right past my shoulders and ends with  soft waves .

         Auburn always insisted that I was way more than just decent-looking than I realized. "Everyone who looks at you sees something you don't," is what she used to tell me. But she was the type of person who would say that anyway, would actually think it anyway, because she loved you. Only, these guys are seeing something now--I can tell by the way they're looking at me, smiling slightly. They're glad I'm there until I say,"You're Auburn's friends." And then all of their expressions change.