POETRY BOOK

A LETTER TO MY FATHER

I know you want to be proud of me, I know the words that spill out of your dried mouth are just the result of the poison you have withered and endured inside your aching body throughout the course of the previous years. we are two damaged souls looking for happiness in other things, maybe that's why we fail to connect. in all our failures we have found it impossible to distinguish the difference between artificial and reality and so we create a safe place that only makes us believe in things that don't exist. father, I have a deep love for you, I often think you fail to see my trying efforts to impress and inspire, it shrivels my heart and ruptures it to it's mere existence. I know the daughter you hoped to have isn't in your presence and i sincerely apologize it had to be this way. I've became a withdrawal of a mess, we've become so dumbfounded over the mild distance, we've forgotten what love really means to us. father, I know have provided me with everything you never had, I know I have a home and food to eat, I don't have to worry about not having certain things and I know that you'll always come home, even if we don't greet each other anymore when you do. you have always been my protector, the man I first loved and the very last. I know I can always count on you, even If my clogged throat fails to spill out those three beautiful words. from the day I was born to the very last day I get to be with you, you will always be the man who I look up to. the tears I let escape from my melancholy eyes have been a consequence of your bitter words, I know you have good intentions in everything you do and say. I know that writing you something you'll never see is pointless but I do it in hopes to reach the ears of those who may relate. father, I know the distance is only growing and I'm afraid that once you're ready to let go, i'll be the last person you look towards to. I hope one day you'll see me for who I truly am, for all the efforts I've made instead of seeing me as a failed attempt of someone who you wished for me to be.