If Only - archive

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December 16, 2017

"And I was gone.

Of course, that's why you're reading this, right? That's how it's supposed to be.

All my life I was right by your side. Without you noticing, of course. But the day came that I always dreaded. When you were at your weakest, darkest point of life. I had to be there. I had to be. And so I exist. I never thought I would be in contact with you once again. That you would be able to see me. That I would have the chance to spend time with you, like I've always wished. But things were always different right from the start.

I was just wasn't.

Physically, I'm not here. Anymore. Like it should have always been.

I love you right from the beginning. Always.

Even though I don't stand a chance, that I should not be meddling with your destiny. Because you're supposed to meet her, the one. That I would only be helping you go back to the right path.

But that day, that day in front of your fireplace. It was something I have not anticipated.

A day, a moment that shouldn't have been.

Even still,  I love you with all my might."

                                                                                                                                                                                   Eternally,

  Estelle M.

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