Romantics

A Tired Love

I'm tired of this. I'm tired of playing games with you. To me you have always been beautiful and special in all the right ways. If this was earlier, I would never have imagined myself saying this but, I can't take it.

I've told you my feelings before. I've bared my heart to you.

But it wasn't for your entertainment.

what's going on with you?

I tell you how I feel and you dump me?

You never answer my calls.

You blocked my texts.

When I come over, you're not home.

You deleted me on Facebook.

You have excuses to never be around me.

We haven't talked in weeks.

Am I the plague?

But that was the last straw.

You're dating my best friend.

She means so much to me. She doesn't know how I feel about you. All she knows is what you told her. But how much of that is true? Do you really like her? Why didn't you tell me? Is this to prove a point; to say that you have no interest in me?

This is why we speak. So you can tell me that you don't feel the same way, that you like my best friend, that we can't be friends anymore.

I still love you.

But I'm tired now.

Our senior year is coming to an end. I don't want it to end like this. Please don't cut me away from your life. I want the end of our time together to be spent happily, even if that means we'll just be friends. That's okay. I'm too tired to be upset about it. Even though my heart feels as though it's been anchored to you and the further you get the more it tugs, I won't pursue you. Lets end it as friends. Even though I still love you, lets be friends. Even though I'll skulk away and cry when it's over because of all the hurt you've given me, lets leave each other with smiling faces and happy memories. Let's be friends. Because I'm too tired to be incensed every time I think of your arm around my best friend. Because I'm too tired of being jerked around by your false plays and fake flirtyness.

When I look back I know we will be together in some pictures, but I know she will be there too, and your arm will be around her.

But I'm too tired to cry, so lets be friends, and send each other off with smiles and hugs and maybe a few tears at our final good byes. Let's drink to our hearts content and forget what we've been through. We'll laugh at the epically embarrassing situations we've experienced and when someone brings up our spin the bottle kiss, lets laugh that off too.

Even though I was in love with you, and still am. Even though it will hurt to think about the false joy I had when you kissed me back enthusiastically.

But don't think of it as awkward, because I won't. On that day, we are friends, because I'll be too tired to love you, or say, "That's my most treasured memory."

I still love you, but I'm too tired to make a big deal about it anymore. I'll never forget you. You were my first love and first heartbreak.

Even after our send off, we might stay in touch. Because your girlfriend is my best friend. Do you really love her? I won't forgive you if you hurt her too.

Even though I say that, I still love you, and I wish you loved me too. But I'm tired, so lets leave each other with smiles.