what would you do about the guy that you can get over a xboyfriend

when I think about it I could really use some tips Part 21

after sometime I came to think about how I want know what it like once again to love a guy and how he love me and that on how I wish to have love and have his sweet body on top of me and how it be in bed to gather and that how that how we would in joy each other time to gather and  how he would be happy that we let happen and that he would say that he love me and that we should do something and that but at the same time we would want get out of bed when that he would ask to do it again and that i just would hope that i would get sore from the first round and that it would be even more amzing then the first and that i would want know that it and that this time he would be the one feel my sweet body and that he would be the one feel my heave breath on his body an that he would say that and that if he talk about heart then i would tell him that there that one person that will have your heart and that you have to be should that the person would want give to you and that i not should who you give it to but then again you just never know how mean times after that your give your heart to and that you should just one thing is that i want say to the guy that i make the sweet love to is that i hope that who i do it go easy on me the first time and when i talk to troy about it he say that he would but i dont know about Noah because we not that close but that why i just like why and that even i can talk to him about it because Noah is still a kid and that i can talk to him about anything with out use it to tell the hole school and that i dont want that thats just what i say but thing is that there another guy that i should he could be eight grade or nine and that i really do like him and that i know that i not his tip that he would go for so what i try to do is that fine someone my own age or close to it and that it sucks and that when troy came back in to my life and now its more hard because my feeling for him just came back as if i start to have feelings for him and that we should go out but then again i just tell my self that now because when it really did start i just tell my self that i dont do thing would be werid when we talk or if i ever see him again and that i just know that i can do it anymore and there times when i talk to him i have sex with him but i cant and i would stop my self and that i know it thats why i do it and that i need to fine something else to help me not think about it and that would be nice to not think about but at the same time now i wish that i could have sex with this another guy that i like but i can and now that i know it i just can face the fact that i want to but its not ok or even not right but dones get me to stop think about it and that i just wish that i could fine a guy that would be whiling to and who is good look but another thing is that i wish that i could have the cine of releship that this to couples do in this one movie and that i just know that and i wish that i could make a wish on a star and it happen but there know point because it would never happen and that i just need be with someone to stop think about it and that i wish that i could just be like but when i get made at troy i call him by his real name and i know he dont like it so thats why i do it when he makes me made but thats why i just i want this another guy but i want know more about him so i need fine away to get him to want talk to me but nothing will not work and i know this but there has to be something to do that would help and that i just need to thinnk of somethingso what i do is try and meet someone new