goodbye Insanity >> larry stylinson au [ON HOLD]

Chapter 1

A/N: Haiiii:) I hope you guys liked the prologue. It was short as I said because I didn't really wanna dwell too much on Larcel. I realize that I made Louis sound like an asshole but remember he has Schizophrenia sooo.

Anywho, this Chapter focuses on a couple months later after Marcel's death in Louis' POV.

It might switch into Harry's POV later if I can't think of anything else for Louis.

Don't forget to follow, vote, and comment guys! Here's Chapter One.

*****

Louis POV

'It's all your fault, you psychotic bastard'

'No! Good job the little queer deserved to die'

'Just kill yourself, faggot'

"STOP!" I screamed, holding the sides of my head. I was so fucking done with this. I knew it was my fault that Marcel was gone now, but it's been four bloody months! When are they gonna leave me alone? If it wasn't for this stupid schizophrenia, Marcel would still be here with me right now.

'Shut the fuck up you worthless shit. You know if it wasn't for us Marcel wouldn't have so much as glanced at your pathetic little ass.'

'Yea, faggot. I bet Marcel didn't even love you. You were probably just a charity case to him. And what did you do? You killed him.'

"SHUT UP! HE LOVED ME, I KNOW HE LOVED ME! JUST STOP IT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was on the floor now, tears streaming down my face. I pulled my knees up to my chest as a broken sob escaped the back of my throat. I couldn't take this anymore, I just couldn't.

"Louis! I heard screaming, are you ok- Oh my god Lou, you're crying." I heard my best mate Zayn say, before he rushed to my side, helping me up. He led me over to the living room and sat me down on the couch, before doing the same and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. The sobs had subsided, but there were still tears pouring from my blue eyes.

The blue eyes that always gazed into the emerald green ones. The blue eyes that Marcel had always told me he loved so much. The blue eyes that held so much anger for Marcel that night. The blue eyes that watched the love of my life die because of one stupid little argument.

I didn't even know that I was sobbing again, until I felt Zayn cuddle me to his side. He hugged me tight and rubbed my back, whispering soothing things to me. I was honestly so lucky to have him in my life. He was the best mate anybody could ever ask for. We've been best friends since 7th grade and I knew I could always count on him for anything.

Ever since I started elementary school, my parents knew I was different. I would draw pictures of just anything dark and my imaginary friends told me to hurt people. This continued until I started middle school; that's when the voices showed up. I didn't have any friends because I was different, so I couldn't tell anybody.

I didn't want to tell my parents because I was afraid that they would begin to ignore me too. I was eating my lunch by myself like I did everyday, under the tree at the field. The voices began to get louder telling me that I was a worthless little parasite and that I needed to kill myself.

That's when Zayn showed up. Apparently he had heard me screaming at the voices to stop, and ran to me as fast he could. Zayn asked me if I was alright, hugged me and told me that everything was going to be okay. That was the first time anybody had spoken to me that wasn't my parents, the first time I made a friend.

He was the person who encouraged me to tell my parents. He was there with me the day I went with my parents to the doctors to find out what was wrong with me. He was there to hold me as I sobbed when I found out I had schizophrenia. He was there the day I found out that I was suffering from depression as a result of my schizophrenia.

And up until last year, he was the only one who stuck by me for the past 10 years through my mental disorders. Last year. That's when Marcel came in to the fucked up train wreck that is my life.

**FLASHBACK**

"Goodbye Louis. See you at next week's session." My therapist said to me as I walked out of his office. "Um yeah, sure. Bye." I replied, heading towards the lobby. I pulled my hoodie up as I walked towards the front door of the building.

I lowered my head as I opened the door, but bumped into somebody. "Oops!" The stranger said and looked down at me. I took a sharp intake of breath as I stared at the absolute perfection in front of me. "Hi." Was all I said, and he chuckled.

He took his hand out of his coat pocket and offered it to me. "I'm Marcel." he said and smiled. And lord he had the most beautiful smile with those cute little dimples. I nervously took his hand and smiled back. "Louis." I replied.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

And that's how I met the love of my life. And now he's dead and its all my fucking fault.

'How could I be so stupid as to let that petty little argument ruin my life?'

Was the last thing I thought before I drifted off into a nightmare filled slumber.