Who am I? Who do I want to be? ~ A The 100 High School AU

Stupid Ideas

ATTENTION:
This Chapter has a smut scene, that's rather explicitly described so if you don't like reading that stuff, skip over Murphy's POV after they talk abt Clarke. There's also a brief mention of 'adult toys' in Lexa's part.

Also, Mentions of Bullying.

And this pretty much starts where the last chapter ended just so you know.

Bryan's POV
9:05 p.m.

I look up at Nathan as he enters my room.
He's carrying a cup of water and smiles at me, his face showing worry.
When he comes closer, the smell of sweat and alcohol hits me. I hold myself back from telling him how wasted he looks.

"How are you feeling?"
He hands me the cup of water and puts a hand on my forehead after I take a sip. "You're heating up"

"Yeah well I don't really feel that good"

"Do you think some soup might help?"

I shrug, staring a hole into the wall. I can't bring myself to look at him. I don't even know why I'm acting this way. Listen, i know he loves me. I guess I'm just not ready to forgive and forget.

It's not even the fact that he cheated, it's the fact that he lied to me about it for months. If he had been honest  right away, i wouldn't even be half as mad as i am now.

"There you go" he places a bowl of soup on the nightstand and wipes a few sweaty strands of hair out of my face. As he walks back into the kitchen to clean and get something to eat as well, i start eating the soup.

He enters my room again.
I put the empty plate and used spoon back on the nightstand after i finish.

Awkward silence fills the room, it seems like minutes have passed when he speaks up.

"If you need anything just let me know okay."

Don't go again.

I notice how he stands up and gets ready to leave.

Please. Don't.

There's tears forming in his eyes, as he's facing the wall.

"Wait"

He glances down at me for a second and i cough.

"Could you-, would you stay with me?
Just for a while. I mean, till i fall asleep."

He hesitates.

"Please Nate", i mumble and close my eyes.

The hint of a soft kiss touches my forehead and a few seconds later his body presses against mine as he sneaks under the blanket right behind me.

I feel a smile creeping it's way to my lips but-

I'm sick.

"Nate I don't want you to catch a cold."

"I won't, don't worry"

I pause for a moment, I don't want him to get sick because of me. On the other hand, this is very comfortable and i don't want him to get up.

I yawn. His heartbeat is so slow, perfectly in sync with mine. It's the only sound I want to hear right now.

I close my eyes.

Miller's POV

I'm pretty sure he's sleeping now.
He looks so peaceful.

"I'm sorry I lied to you Bryan"
I mutter.
"I can't lose you. You mean too much to me."
Careful, not to wake him up.
"I'm so so sorry. Please don't leave me. Please don't" -my voice cracks.
"don't hate me."