Only one~Joah/Foah

1

*Plz read the note at the end it's really important*
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Noah
It's been a month already and I still can't get over him. I haven't been sleeping,eating, or even thinking right. I miss him, I miss him so much. I wonder if he still thinks of me. Does he still love me? Did he ever love me? It hurts so much knowing that he moved on. I feel so empty and lost. I cry myself to sleep every night. I wish has can hold me and touch me again. I miss hearing his voice, waking up next to him, his black curls, his cute freckles. Damn I miss everything about him. He was just so perfect and he really made me happy. He meant everything to me and I wish I can move on, but what if they hurt me like Finn did?

I toss and turn in my bed, my thoughts are all about him. My brain won't stop thinking about Finn. I stare up at the ceiling, remembering every time we cuddled. Every time we kissed. I press up against my pillow, pretending that it's him, but I know that it's not. It's not as warm and comfortable as him. I let go of the pillow and stare up at the ceiling. I feel a tear slide down my cheek. Why do I still care about him after what he did? Why do I still want to be with him? How did I ever trust him? Ugh! I blow out a frustrated breath. "Why?" I groan

Turning, I stuff my face into a pillow and start sobbing. My face grows hot as tears soak into my pillow. He promised, he promised that he would always love me and be here for me. Where is he now? I wish I can stop thinking about him. I hug my pillow tighter while I keep sobbing. I stay like this for a couple of minutes. After I calmed down I got up and walked towards the mirror. God no wonder he left me. Look at me, I'm so ugly and gross.

I give up, and walk back to bed and check my phone like an inpatient child. Desperate for finn to love me again. I feel ashamed for being so obsessed. Craving for someone presence and taste again. Is this desire wrong? Probably, but then the only thing dear to me is my need for Finn. He's my air I gasp and need to survive. I need him again.

Why am I so desperate for him? I can't even trust him anymore! God I'm such an idiot. I wish I had someone to hold me. I wish I had finn. NO! Not finn! No more finn. I can't stop. I need someone

Someone who will actually love me and keep their promises. Not someone who will hurt me, break promises, and make me feel worthless. I can't keep hiding and acting like Finn is coming back. He's never  coming back to hold me and kiss me with those soft pink lips. God Noah stop it! I gently put my phone down and think of ways to clear my mind.
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Unedited
Ik this is  short but oh well

They are aged up in this book so plz don't complain about it also they will be underage drinking and smut. This book is going to be full of  wild shit so I just want to warn you guys.