Only one~Joah/Foah

3

Noah
I still hate what I see. I walk back into my room and look for an outfit that won't be to fancy. I finally found the right one and quickly change into it. I checked my phone and still didn't see not even one text from Finn. I really need to stop. He doesn't care, he never did. I look at the time  and notice it's 8:00. I still need an hour until it starts. I hope I see some cute boys. I look back at the mirror and look at my outfit. It looks fine. A black hoodie, some faded ripped jeans, and black vans. I sit on my couch for some time, thinking about what to do. If I watch tv, then I'll only think about Finn. I decide to drive around town alone and try to look for some cafes, and maybe some bookstores. Right now that seems the most  reasonable plan. It seems better than going to Finn's house and begging him to love me and touch me again. I shudder at the thought. What would Finn do? Probably run away or call the cops on me.

  I walk out the house not even letting my mom know since she's never really home. I kinda do want to go to Finn's house but I don't want to cause problems. He probably already found someone else and hates me, it would make him hate me even more and I don't want that I want him to love me. Okay I really need god stop. I keep saying I'm going to stop but here I am always thinking about him. I don't know. I get sort of annoyed of only thinking about Finn. Besides I have my own life, I can  think about myself. I grab my car keys and leave for town. On the way I listen to my favorite songs . They remind me of my childhood. Everytime I leave  for town I'm amazed by the scenery. I park under a tree for extra shade and stay in my car until the song is done. I open my door and head on out. Feeling my feet hit the cement ground and palling me forwards feels nice. Especially the sunshine shining on my face. I also have many other people I can think about. Like my old friends or celebrity crushes like Kim namjoon or Bang Chan. I felt a smile form on my face while I walked into the cafe. I drop those weird thoughts and stood waiting on line. When it's my turn, I buy a caramel frappe and a scone. I sit down and slowly drink it while staring out of the window. What if Finn shows up to the party? I mean he's really close to Gates and Caleb. He always shows up to their parties. I shouldn't really worry if he's there. I can just ignore him and try to make new friends or even look for a new guy. I keep drinking my Frappe while thinking of some things that can happen at the party. I can imagine myself dancing with acaten and Caleb. I chuckle as we all joke around. Then I see Finn. He walks up to me and begs to have me back. I laugh and walk past him. Wow I'm such a diva. I realize I'm laughing out loud. In the cafe a few people give me awkward stares. I turn to look out the window again. Cars violently rush by. I imagine another situation. As I'm dancing a boy walks up to me, he's extremely cute and handsome. He is the most perfect boy I've seen. He takes me in his arms and we sway. I sigh dreamily. Oh how I wish I had someone to hold me right now. I flick  on my phone and look at the time. It's 8:45, oh dang, I should go now. The place is like 20 minutes away. Quickly I pay the waiter and walk to my car. On my way to the party I play BTS on the speakers. I try singing along, mumbling random Korean  and English words.
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Yikes I'm back after not updating you guys in months I'm sorry