One day at a time. (Part 2 of the story of Joanne and Paul. Now complete!)

Chapter 19 - 26th February Cont'd

Joanne wandered through the house, trying to be as quiet as possible since James McCartney was asleep upstairs. She went into Paul's office to scan the bookshelves. Knowing he was an avid reader, she hoped to find something to read to help her relax.On entering the room she looked around. She saw the old battered desk which Paul had told her he'd bought around the time he'd bought the house in the 1960's. It was tidy and organised, mirroring what she knew of Paul himself. She walked towards his bookcase and looked along the shelves English classics nestled amongst poetry and art. She spotted the occasional biography and then, to her surprise, the bottom shelf held a variety of books on The Beatles and Paul himself. She picked up one and opened it. It had clearly never been read. She guessed they had been sent from the publishers as complimentary copies. She put it back tidily.  Paul, she decided, had a very eclectic book collection!

Suddenly she spotted something that looked interesting. She pulled out a red leather bound book which didn't have a title on the spine. She opened it and smiled, realising she had accidentally stumbled upon one of Paul's many note books, full of words and chord notes he scribbled down when ideas hit him. She sat down in the chair by his desk to read it. She found the words to the song he had written for her for Christmas. It made her smile as she noticed there were very few crossings out, as if he had found the words to express his feelings easy to find! Next to it was a 'doodle' showing a patterned heart with her name written inside. She felt tears well up. Blinking them back, she continued to read. She found poems and notes about things which clearly meant something to Paul. She carefully closed the book, it was starting to feel as though she was prying into something very private.

As she put the book down, her eyes fell on his desk. She smiled at the organised clutter and realised that the desk reflected key events and people in Paul's life. In the centre of the desk, in immediate line of sight, her Mr Bump keyring sat next to a smiling photo of herself and Paul. It was a picture she hadn't seen before, taken on the red carpet the previous December. Then there was a picture of The Beatles taken, she thought, judging by the long haired and bearded foursome, during the filming of 'Let it be.' Paul and John were sat close together and were laughing. In the background, George and Ringo looked on. It seemed so long ago now! Then she saw some lovely family shots when his children were younger, clearly taken by Linda, capturing precious moments of playing wrestling games with daddy. Finally she saw a picture of Paul and Linda together. Judging from Linda's short cropped hair, it looked like it had been taken not long before she died. Joanne could see the love they had for each other. It radiated from the picture. She looked at the image of Paul. He smiled she noticed, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. They both looked incredibly sad despite the smiles! Jo felt her heart go out to them both. Obviously they had been told the prognosis then but were making the most of their time together....

"Oh you're here!" Joanne jumped, startled by James as he came into the room. "I thought I heard a noise then noticed your bed was empty."

"i couldn't sleep," she explained, "I thought I'd see if one of your dad's books helped me relax a bit! Your dad said I could make myself at home."

James smiled. "Hey, don't worry. I know dad wouldn't mind you being in here." He looked at the desk. "He said you bought him the Mr Bump! He loves that picture of you and him too!"

Joanne laughed and nodded. "Mr Bump was your dads Christmas present from me." She looked at the rest of the desk. "There's some beautiful photos here too."

James walked round to  her and looked at them for himself. He started to laugh."Oh look at them! I'd forgotten dad had them here. Look at the girls wrestling with dad. I think I was only about 3 at the time!" His eyes fell on the picture of his parents. Joanne noticed that his smiled faded as he picked it up. "This was taken two weeks before mum died. She seemed to rally and be full of energy then she just faded away." He shook his head. "You know, dad was devastated when mum died. Totally destroyed. I was scared he wouldn't be able live without her." He looked up a Jo. "You hear that happening with some couples don't you? One dies and the other just fades away without them? You've helped me and my sisters get our old dad back you know. Since being with you he's happier, emotionally stronger and like he used to be." Joanne noticed that Janes was crying. She moved to him and held him. "I so scared that dad will die in the operating theatre tomorrow Jo, despite what the doctors say. I'm scared!"

Once more Joanne found herself offering comfort to one of Paul's children. She simply hugged James in the way she would do with her own children.

"You dad, he's strong James. Strong and fit despite this. The doctors have said it's just routine these days. He'll be fine! I know he will!"

Joanne closed her eys as she hugged James. She hoped she was right. She knew that convincing herself that what she had said was true was harder than she liked to admit!