Behind His Eyes

Chapter 14

"Ed, I am sorry," I said.

He used his clenched fist in cleaning the traces of tears on his face, "I already forgave you that night, Becca and I hope you will do the same."

I nod, "Why wouldn't I? It's my fault in the first place."

"No, it's all about me."

I shake my head, "No. It was me."

"Oh, guys c'mon! Are you just going to blame each other?" Someone interrupted. It's David.

I sigh as my eyes look at the blue sea. There are two cups of champagne on David's hands and I assume they are for us. She sat on the sand near the branch and handed us the champagne. I smile at him before getting it and handing the other one to Edrei.

"Oh, thanks," he uttered.

David smiles as he goes back to the mini bar. I look down and move my glass slightly. "So how are you doing?"

A curve was formed on his beautiful face, "To be honest, I was really looking for you since yesterday but you know, I am blind and I can't see you easily. You're not even here."

I narrow my eyes, "Why is that? Why would you look for me?"

He takes a sip of champagne and scratches his forehead, "I will be leaving for less a month."

"Why?" My voice is in a high pitch and I hope he didn't hear the tone. We were not able to see each other for a week and I missed him like it was months then now, he is going to leave for that long?

He laughs, "Don't worry. I'll come back. I will just be having my multiple check ups for the operation." His voice tells me to not worry.

"What if the doctor advises you not to go back here?" I said.

"Then I will still come here. Becca, don't think too much. I will come back here for you and I promise that."

I hold his hand as I stand up from the branch. I pull him slowly which makes him also get up.

"Can we have some walk?" I said calmly.

From the moment he mentioned his leave, I feel like I wanna seize every second I am with him. I don't know why although he told me that he is coming back. Maybe I just missed him so much.

He nods and put a smile on his face before he gropes for the stick. I hold his arms to guide him at the seashore. We walk barefooted as the water passes over our feet. We are both in silence while we are enjoying the subtleness of the sand and no one bothers to speak.

From his arms, my hand slides through his hand and I cross my fingers to his. I heard him gasped when I did that.

I chuckle, "I can hold your hand, right?"

His mouth curved into smile, "Yeah, I was just surprised."

"You know me, Ed. It's my hobby..," I said while laughing.

If he was shocked of what I did a while ago, well I am more when he pressed his hands hardly onto mine. He squeezed it multiple times while rubbing his thumb.

I am frozen. My heart starts palpitating and I can't cease it. I can feel the heat coming from below up to my face and the feeling punches my cheeks. I can't help but to smile and close my eyes as we walk while holding hands. How I wish we could stay like this forever. I hope I could feel the same butterflies after this.. when he return.

He is leaving. I open my eyes and look at him. This Edrei, those lips that are as red as rose, his nose, the eyebrows, those sunglasses, the sweet smile.. am I going to see those again? My smile fades as the thought crossed my mind. My heart falls down but I am still barely breathing.

"When are you leaving?" I ask.

He drew his lower lip between his teeth, "Later."

"What?!" My mouth falls open and my brows are furrowed. It's too soon!

I remove my fingers from his and I stand on his front. "Are you kidding?"

Despite the situation, he still manages to chuckle, "It is true. I will leave tonight so we can get there early tomorrow."

My brows drew themselves more with each other, "Where will be your check up?"

"I don't know? But I am sure it's ten hours from here," he uttered which makes my mouth totally fell down.

What kind of friend he is? Why didn't he tell me earlier so I am not panicking here, thinking what I should do before he leave. For God's sake, it is close to twelve in the afternoon so obviously we only have seven hours remaining then add to the instance that he will be out for a month! Does he want me to die because of depression? He always makes me think of him too much. One week without him is so hard for me. Then now, a month? How if it's not really a month? What if he doesn't come back before our OJT ends? I scream quietly and hold my hair with my both hands.

"God, Ed! Why didn't you tell me a day or two before today?" I whine but he is still smiling. He is insane.

He scratches his head and half laugh, "I told you. I wasn't able to see you except today."

I hold his shoulders. Let me take some moment to look at him because I am sure I'm gonna miss this guy a lot. Something is blocking my throat now, probably because of preventing my tears to fall down. I pursed my lips but my eyes start to water.

He is blind, he cannot see it if I cry. So I let my tears stream down my face while I am looking on him.

"Becca? Are you okay?" He holds my arms and travel his hands to my shoulders, up to my neck, then on my face. He holds my chin as his thumb caresses my cheeks. My tears spread over my cheeks but he keeps on wiping it.

"Shhh.. Please don't cry," he said. I close my eyes and lift my hands from his shoulders to his wrists.

But his voice makes me cry even worse.

"I don't like you crying especially this time because you are making me guilty of leaving you. Please stop, Becca. I will come back as soon as possible. Okay?" His voice is sweet. I didn't answer because I want to hear more of him. I wanna hear him speak for the rest of this day. My ears love how his voice passes through them.

I nod and move closer to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and he did the same on my waist. "I promise I will come back for you but promise me too that you are not going to cry again. Can I trust you with that?"

I nod again as I sniff on his shirt. I hug him tightly, to the point that he cannot breathe and I don't have any plan of getting myself off his comfort.

Tonight, before he leave, I will tell him everything. I will not lose any words, even a single letter.. everything.