An Imperial Affliction

Xander

        It has been almost 2 months since I have written. Not much has happened. The Dutch Tulip Man (Colem) has come up with another new idea to cure cancer. All I do is laugh at his "accomplishments", I didn't even try to listen or figure out what his idea was this time. My cancer seems to be going away! I'm so happy I don't even know what to say.

        I'm reading this book right now, it's called The Fault In Our Stars, it's about this girl names Hazel, and an amazing boy named Augustus. They are trying to get the most out of their lives; they both have cancer you see. I do not understand how John Green does it, he talks as if he is a girl with cancer who is not afraid of death, yet I am pretty sure he is not one... 

        I have always wanted a love like theirs, but I never knew it until I read the book. Augustus' and Hazel's relationship , however short it was, is one for the record books. I can understand their thinking, because in this teenage bible both Gus and Hazel have cancer. I know that sounds depressing to you, but imagine having someone to love that knows exactly what you're going through. The needles, the changes, the possibility of death. It hits you harder if you don't really expect it; I consider people who don't have cancer to be like Mundanes to me. You need to understand the risks, you must know that when you go outside, you may never come back. The shorter life span causes us to try and live life to it's fullest. To not be afraid.

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     To quote Awolnation; " Fly, fly, baby don't cry, no need to worry cause everybody will die."

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  At my school I am considered an anomaly. Yeah I'm the girl that has cancer, so what? Are you going to stay away and stare as if the closer you come, the more likely you are to catch this vicious disease? All of my thoughts on this, all of my feelings changed one day. There was a possibility to find my own Augustus, have a love that is real. That was the day that I met Xander.

   He is beautiful. His eyes make the stars look like they're not shining. Surprisingly enough, he has really nice hands, a thing I take very seriously. I mean, who wants to hold hands with someone who doesn't moisturize? Their raggedy-ass desert hands. On top of the eyes and the hands and all those great things, he has a brain. And I think that it is wonderful. There is one splendid up, and one horrendous down. He has cancer. I mean it can be superb in that he understand what I go through, and it is harrowing because what if he dies. What if something awful happens? What if? Until then, however, I will be trying my best to be living that 'YOLO' life.