Moving On

Moving On (7)

Chapter Seven

“Talk about it. Tell me what happened,” Vincent started, but I cut him off.

“Look, Vincent. Before I tell you anything, I need to be able to trust you.” I replied very seriously.

I might have told Vincent his name but I was not ready to reveal anything else until I could fully trust him.

Vincent sighed. “What is it you want to know, Alia? Have I not earned your trust, yet?” He asked.

I got up off of my couch and started to walk around the room. “See, that’s the thing, Vincent. You have not done a single thing that proves that I can trust you. Look, the last guy – he screwed me over. It was bad. For six whole months, I didn’t understand what I had done wrong for him to leave me. There were times when I didn’t feel like living, too. And after all of that, you expect me to talk to you about my life after knowing you for three days?”

Vincent regarded me seriously. “I thought we got to know each other over the past few days, Alia… I don’t understand what else you need to know to trust me.” He said.

“That’s not enough, though!” I yelled. This whole situation was getting to me. “That’s not enough, Vincent,” I repeated quietly. “Trust is not based on what color you like or what food you like. There’s more than that.”

Vincent slapped his hands on to his knees and stood up. “Tell me what you want, Alia. What should I do to earn your trust?” Vincent asked, quoting the word trust with his fingers.

I could tell he was angry. I felt bad, but there was reasoning in my argument. “Look, Vincent. I’m sorry if I hurt you, but this is me. I can’t just easily trust everyone I meet after all that happened between me and him.”

Vincent picked up the snow globe resting on my table and smashed it to the ground. I gasped in both shock, sadness and anger. “Why do you keep comparing every situation to what happened between you and that guy?” Vincent yelled angrily.

“Because that’s all I can think about, Vincent!” I screamed back. “I don’t understand why you’re butting into my personal issues, anyway. What right do you have? Who are you, Vincent? What do you want from me?”

“Wow, Alia. Just wow. After all we’ve been through, this is how you’re repaying our relationship? Who am I? What right do I have? Are you serious?” Vincent asked, shaking his head.

I frowned. “What the hell are you talking about, Vincent? We’ve known each other for three days! And all ‘we’ve been through’ is me trying to murder you with a metal pot, and then you forcing me to go on a date with your jerk of a brother. What is up with that, anyway? You knew he was a jerk, what was the point of proving it to me?”

“I was just helping you, Alia.” Vincent said, his voice losing its anger and hitting the sad notes on the scale.

“Again with the stupid help! I don’t need your effing help! I’m perfectly fine! In fact, you’re the one that needs help. You’re the one with the unspoken issues with your stupid brother. I don’t see why you have to drag me into your problems. Now it’s just going to get worse. Give me one good reason how that was supposed to ‘help’ me.” I pointed out, knowing he probably wouldn’t have a reply to my argument.

“You showed your respect for yourself. You didn’t let him step all over you like you would have back then.” Vincent said quietly.

My lips curved into a frown. “I was never a doormat, Vincent. You need to get your facts checked,” I said angrily, poking my finger into his chest. I was lying, but I wasn’t going to show that to Vincent. No matter what. So what if I did not have respect for myself? Why does that even matter?

Vincent ignored the last part of my argument and said, “Forget all that. Tell me one thing. You don’t remember the good times we had together? McDonalds? The fun we had yesterday? What happened to all those memories? As soon as a fight comes up, you’re just going to drop everything, forget all the good memories, and remember the bad ones?”

I froze. I had heard these words before. Except they had come from my own mouth. I had said these exact words to Cedric. Suddenly, my knees became shaky and I dropped to the floor. I lost all sense, and through my blurry vision, I saw Vincent frown and sit down next to me. He shook me and tried to make me respond.

I could hear him calling my name distantly but all I could think about was that I had no reason to judge Cedric, because honestly, I was the same. Only the negative memories remained in my head; the rest had completely disappeared.

Why was this happening to me? What did I do for karma to punish me like this?

“Alia!” Vincent shouted and I finally acknowledged his presence. “Alia, can you hear me? Are you okay?” He asked worriedly, trying to find out what had suddenly caused me to lose my angry posture.

“Vincent,” I whispered. He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to say the next words. I could tell I looked like I had seen a ghost, that’s probably how pale I was at the moment. “Vincent,” I gasped again. “I need help.”