Depression Has No Face

1-Happy birthday 🎉🎉🎁

19/07/2017

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happybirthday our dear maggie
Happybirthday to you 

Make a wish
*crossed my hands held them tight and prayed god to not wake up the next day*

^claps , happy cheerings^
-"What did you wish?" Mama said
-"..uuhh i wished... it's a secret😒 "i frowned
*i wasn't really happy about my birthday not as how i used to be , but things changed, i changed ,no longer smiling my wide smile, no longer laughing ,even my eyes changed , they used to look beautiful and chatchy but now they're all swollen ,guess life wasn't what i expected , life for me was like a game where you get to choose your company and fight against the devil ;wich is death but now life is like a deep hole with scary voices calling for you , decreasing the distance between you and the devil day by day until you choose by your own to meet the devil...*

-Cleaned the table and washed the dishes and got back to my room, brought my diary with me to bed and started writing what the hole is like today , that's true this is my life , a story written just to comfort a bit my crashed heart and be able to breath a bit because god knows how i forgot how to breath and sleep and eat ,wrote a bit about today wich wasn't that big of a deal ,closed my book and picked my phone from my desk and layed down on the bed surfing in facebook checking if anyone sent me anything but nope not even a single notification, tbh i got used to it but what am still not used to is the act of opening my facebook don't know why but my heart starts racing and trying to come out , scared to get slamed in the face by the fact that i don't have friends, now that am thinking about it i might need to disable my facebook account am sure no one will notice😒😒 , i disabled it closed my phone and took a deep breath before i closed my eyes and landed to my dereamland where everthing is extreamly the opposite of my reality , i know that am living in a lie but it's better to face reality and lose for the trillion(don't know if that exist) time and have to rethink about suiciding, i don't want to get there again therefor dreaming is much better, i satteled my head in a comfty position on my wet pillow from lastnight and gave up to my sleepy eyes and slept......

NoTE :

This is a real story,my story , these days are the worst in my life so i wanted to comfort my self a bit by writing it down and sharing it maybe there will be ppl who'll understand and some who'll give me advices but 'till then i hope you enjoyed the first chapter of "depression has no face", feel free to comment down bellow anything you like maybe something you didn't like about this story , keep in mind it's my first time ever writing and english isn't my first language neither my second so am litterly writing in from my mind not even writing it down checking it then publishing it am sorry again but i'll do that next time ,i just wanted to not think about it and write what's in my mind
And my name isn't maggie , i just choose it if you guys can find anybetter name plz write that down or if you would like me to put my name idk see yall