Emerald Skies

Don't Hold Back

Ch 14; Don't Hold Back

I'm going to hell. Without a doubt, going straight to hell when I die.

On the car-ride home, my chatty and giggly Ross was replaced with an upset and injured one. Without his constant comments on the most random things he always seems to be thinking that seemed to just jump right out of his mouth, it gave me time to think about the way I've been treating him. And, I've come to realize that I'm no better than Rydel when it comes to messing with someone's heart.

One minute I'm cuddling with him, laughing, playing, teasing... and seemingly without warning I flip and push him away. Then I say the most stupid things after that, as if to justify why I was pushing him away when the real reason is- well, Laura has that one all figured out.

I'm confusing the hell out of Ross, and with the way I'm behaving towards him, I don't doubt he's having a hard time figuring out just how he should be acting around me. Damn it... I never wanted Ross to worry about things like that! I like spontaneous, goofy, funny cuddly Ross! He's the real Ross; the one that doesn't hide behind the barriers he's built up from irrational fears. The more I shove though, the thicker he's going to be building those walls, until eventually I won't even be able to penetrate it's boundaries, much less be able to shout through them and tell him how badly I fucked up. The thing is... even knowing all this, I'm not sure if there's much I can do.

We pull in to the driveway. "Do you... want me to get you an ice pack for your mouth? Or head?" I ask him, desperately hoping he'll give me something to do right now.

"I'll be okay." He says, his voice lacking emotion entirely. He gets out first, and walks through the door in the garage.

Some how I don't think he's going to forgive me as easily as he had when I sent him to bed the other night. What he was upset about though- it had nothing to do with the fact that his head is hurting.

I wander into the living room and find Rocky has turned on the X-Box. It doesn't look like anyone else is home aside from us and Ross.

I sit next to him.

"Wanna grab a controller?" He offers, just now noticing I've entered while being so wrapped up in his game.

"Sure." I reply, and lean over to grab one. I turn it on, and Rocky exits out of the game he was currently playing.

I log on as 'player 2' with my username 'R5ebelboy19', and enter the game. We had small hand guns to start, but Rocky quickly navigates his way through the building and picks up a machine gun.

"I take it you've wrapped up classes?" I ask him. My character hops up on a ledge of a building and overlooks the terrain.

"Yeah." He nods. He moves his character to the west side of the map away from my location. He ducks down, trying to keep out of my sights despite the fact he has a better weapon than I. "Are you getting ready for yours?" He questions.

"Yeah." I reply.

Rocky's kept his character out of sight. He was collecting cloaks and other power-ups to protect himself. I move the camera to scope out the map.

"So Ross looked pretty upset when he stormed in." Rocky comments. "What happened?"

And here I thought he hadn't noticed us enter.

It's been a while since I've played this game, but I still remember the basics, and my memory will kick in once I've warmed up.

"I don't know." I lie; my voice thick with sarcasm. "He's been pretty upset with me. Would you know anything about why that would be, Rocky?" I probe.