Inside My Head

You're Always Being Chased

At the hospital, my mother and I were visiting Alex Lawther. I noticed there were guards at the door. I didn't understand. My mother stood by me as always.
"We're friends of the patient." My mother clarified to the guards. They wouldn't let us in. What they had to do next just shocked both of us.
"Name?" The strong man, with the name Terus written on his uniform. "Terus.." I whispered to myself. "Excuse me?!" the man asked looking down at me. Yes, he really had to look down I was eleven at the time and fairly short. "I'm sorry" my mother apologized for me. "I'm Mrs. Sara Daniels..." my mother tried to explain but instead got cut off by the guard over talking her, "Daniels, as in married to the lawyer Mr. Adam Daniels"
          I take it my father was a famous lawyer even if he lost some cases.
           "I'm sorry for your loss" Terus said. I was tired of this bullshit. My father left because of my mother I stood there thinking. "Terus....is not manly!" I yelled folding my arms standing by my mother. Terus began to laugh. It seems to anger me a little. "Sweetie, what's your name?" He asked me once more.
           Here it was once again. The feeling. The pain. The suffering I once had while almost trying to kill my best friend. I'm thinking maybe it starts as a headache...I wasn't sure. It had only happened at times and I never knew when they were to come. I never knew if it would be bad or get worse. I really tired to control it. I did. Sometimes, I really didn't want to. Some days I didn't need to. You know, control it..
         Like in this moment, I had it under control. Only because of my mother. "I'm so sorry..." my momma began. "Don't mom! He needs to know he has a weak name." "Harper!" My mother yelled. "It's okay, ma'am!" Terus defended. ".is it...T-E-R-U-S"
"Okay kid! What's your name?" I think maybe he was trying to get back at me I wasn't sure.
         Then the voice came.
           "You don't have take his shit!" Please no! Not Again! "Ahhhh! I screamed in the guards face. "Stop! Don't be rude!" My mother yelled. I think my mother was scared, not for me, but of me. She should be. Everyone should be scared, I remembered, thinking that day. "Kid, you need to calm down!" Terus stated. Both Terus and my mother tried hold me down as the voice inside me wanted to fight back.
         I broke from struggle slapping my mother across the face, possibly leaving a mark. "It's your fault" I screamed in her face. As my mother looked into my eyes I felt terrible. I didn't want to hit her. Not now. Not ever. "Hey, we might need some back up!" Terus called on his radio. As soon as I heard the cops coming I ran not looking back at my hurt mother.
         "No! Don't call the police! She is just a child going through a hard time! Please!" She begged holding her face. "Ma'am, she needs help." "No! Sir, she needs her mamma!" She yelled. "HARPER!!" She screamed. Terus held my mother back as she watched her only child run away.
           I ran and ran and ran as fast as I could. I knew the place was going to get crazy, with cops looking for me. I knew I had to hide. I wasn't sure where. I ran down a long hallway, as a saw more cops; more officers; more guards in every direction. No! I knew there was no place to hide. No place to go.
           Then my headache began again, this time only worse! I knew I had to get some place safe. Somewhere for no one to find me.
          The headache was like a brick. A brick smashing over and over again inside my head.
          I managed to find a closet of some sort. I think it was for cleaning supplies. I got inside. I wanted to scream but I knew I couldn't. They'd hear me. I held my head in my small palms. Please go away! I begged for it to stop. I just wanted the pain to go away I wanted it to leave me alone.
           Then that's when it began; this strange voice inside my head, only this time, it didn't tell me what to do it just wanted to talk. It was trying to get my attention.
          "You know who I am, kid!" No, no I don't go away! "Yes, you do!" It screamed making my headache stronger. "Please..."I begged. "You know me.." the voice tried to calm itself.
          Then a knock came upon the small closet door. I gasp from my breath then suddenly the the voice was.....gone..
        "Harper..?" A woman whispered. The light was to bright for me I couldn't tell who this woman was but I knew her sweet comforting voice.
         "Harper? Sweetie, it's me detective Sparks." "Waverly?" I questioned within a whisper. "We have to hurry! Come on!" She rushed me. "No! Please go away! Leave me here!" I was trying to get her away before she could
see "the evil side of me", but the person she saw was just some scared little girl on the run. I was. Not for the way she thought though. I just wanted someone to understand me. Alex did somehow. Inside and out. He understood me. He always did and yet I tried to kill him. He was hurt. I never knew how badly. I didn't know if I wanted to know for the reason of me feeling the way the voice made me feel or actually care for my good friend.
        "Harper, I'm on your side. I want to help!" Waverly voice came into my head sinking me away from my harmful feelings and harsh thoughts.
          I was to the point where I didn't know if anything I did was me or not. Waverly put her hand out to me. Something inside me, perhaps good, reached for Waverly's soft delicate hands. "Let's go!" We ran. It all happened so fast. We knew we really didn't have a place to go, but we tried. Running down the long hallway I once seen before stood a officer pacing up and down. "Stay here!" Waverly said as we peeked around the corner. As she began walking causally down the long hallway the officer spotted Waverly. "Hey, Sparks!" He yelled. "Hey, Officer Class. How are you?"She asked calmly. As I was watching around the corner I suppose you'd say spying? I saw the officers back. She faced him away from me.
          I noticed the man was quite a size. He looked; sweet, caring, and very intelligent. I wasn't sure quite what they were talking about frankly I didn't care. It seemed like she was giving me hand signals but I couldn't tell. She kept moving her hand across her neck. I heard the man asked if she was hot or something. "You're a good man, Damien!" She said loudly hugging the man. She looked right at me. "Go! Go! Run!" She mouthed also making her eyes go the way she wanted me to run! I ran going along the wall from the other side. "Sparks..." he said backing from her hug. "SHHH!" She said hugging him tightly. We had one more hallway to go till the exit sign. I made it to where, officer Class couldn't see me. Surprising there was a cart with green curtain-like fabric hanging from the side. I got inside. "Wave...I have a girl.." "good for you!" She yelled beginning to run toward me as he turned around very confused. The clueless man carried on. "Harper??" Waverly whispered. "When did you become so slick!?" I said revealing myself underneath the cart. "It's from the heart kid!" Waverly laughed pulling me through the halls while, I was inside the strange cart.
          "Excuse me?" A doctor called. Waverly stopped in shock. "That's the hospitals!" The man yelled "Go!" I whispered. "Hello!" Waverly couraged "ma'am you can't take that!""umm no it's okay the nurse wanted to take it, Sir" she explained step by step. The doctor kept coming closer as waverly tired to get further away. "Hold on, Harper!" Turning around placing her grip on the cold sliver handle. She said running down the hallway. "Hey!" The doctor yelled running after us. "Go! Go! Go!" We yelled. The exit sign was so close. Just through the double doors and into the garage. As I was struggling to hold on with Waverly's harsh pushing I saw things inside the cart; equipment and other things. I began tossing the stuff out hoping to stop the doctor. "STOP!" He yelled standing in the middle of the hall.
          "Lost them?!" I yelled with a small giggle. "You have lots to learn, kiddo. If there's one thing for sure, that is when you are on the run you are always being chased!"
          I knew exactly what that meant. I can't be free. Not ever. Making it to detective Sparks car we finally got in. "Where are you going" I asked.
"Well, we both are on the run.."
"So, there's no place to go?" I questioned with a large look in my eyes. Waverly seemed to think we were in this together. I began looking out the window. Waverly looks over at me while driving down the old road we were headed on. "Hey, it's okay I know a place" she said smiling at me. Returning the smile, i decided to try to make a conversation. Or at least attempt.
            Looking at the slightly bumpy road she saw my glaze. "What is it?" She asked concerned. Taking my eyes off the road, looking at waverly she always seem to have the most flawless hair and swift like face. "What are you going to do?" I asked. "I'm not turning you in if that's what you are worried about?!" I could care less if she did. It's been a long hard day of recklessness and I remotely deserved to be locked up! We pulled around the corner of a narrow bumpy old road. I didn't understand why she wouldn't turn me in. Maybe she was planning a murder. It did look as if that could be what she was doing, being in the middle of nowhere and all  I started to panic. My palms got sweaty and began to notice my breathing was increasing by the long minutes. We came closer and closer to the strange destination. "Here we are!" Waverly said beating on the steering wheel. I jumped to the movement of sound. "You are okay sweetie?" I looked at her. I thought for a second maybe she had noticed how frightened I was of her. Then as she looked at me with her bright intelligent eyes I realized I wasn't scared, even if I thought I was going to possibly die.
         My mother always told me, "never ever get into a car with a stranger." However, she never told me to run from the cops with a stranger?! I laughed at my own thoughts. She's not a just a random person running from the cops with me she was the cops. She wasn't just a stranger either she was beginning to be someone I genuinely trusted, my friend Waverly Sparks couldn't be a killer even if she wanted to!!